Self clean car wash near me
AutoDetailing: The Detailer's Domain
2011.06.04 06:04 spellrm AutoDetailing: The Detailer's Domain
A subreddit dedicated to those car enthusiasts and beginners interested in keeping their vehicles clean.
2010.10.06 04:08 the8thbit Anti-Troll
2018.07.14 06:22 mdfgcrispy Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
A place for all things doofenshmirtz
2023.06.03 13:33 PM_ME_YOUR_SHOLAS Power Steering Issue?
Got in the car this morning and the steering on my M3 LR (2021) has gone completely strange. It doesn’t want to self centre and when I do try and keep it in a straight line the steering wheel itself is out of alignment. It seems like it wants to be on full lock either way.
The car hasn’t been driven for a week, where it had an uneventful motorway journey of approx 150 miles. No warning other than “Vehicle Hold feature unavailable. Keep brake pedal pressed while stopped”
Taken up to 20mph and it just feels all over the place and twitchy. Spoken to roadside assistance and they won’t collect as they have no warnings to indicate what the issue is, so I would need to pay for a tow to the nearest SC which is £370. If it’s a warranty issue they said they would reimburse but I’m worried that they will say it’s due to something not covered by warranty and leave me deeply out of pocket.
Has anyone had an issue like this? Just to be clear I drive about 60-65mph on the motorway and avoid potholes like the plague.
submitted by PM_ME_YOUR_SHOLAS to TeslaModel3 [link] [comments]
The car hasn’t been driven for a week, where it had an uneventful motorway journey of approx 150 miles. No warning other than “Vehicle Hold feature unavailable. Keep brake pedal pressed while stopped”
Taken up to 20mph and it just feels all over the place and twitchy. Spoken to roadside assistance and they won’t collect as they have no warnings to indicate what the issue is, so I would need to pay for a tow to the nearest SC which is £370. If it’s a warranty issue they said they would reimburse but I’m worried that they will say it’s due to something not covered by warranty and leave me deeply out of pocket.
Has anyone had an issue like this? Just to be clear I drive about 60-65mph on the motorway and avoid potholes like the plague.
2023.06.03 13:31 G0dlessandHuman Will my mental health be used against me
For context I am a veteran and I have been working with the VA (veterans affairs healthcare) consistently for my issues for the last 17 years this includes the last year I was in the army.
Due to military service I have been diagnosed with CPTSD general anxiety major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder. (I also have some physical medical issues so according to the VA I am 80%servoce connected disabled)
I have been in treatment ( therapy) and medical medication management from the start. (I have self-admitted for mental health three times)
I've been with my STBXH for all this time.
Yesterday after I talked with my lawyer he looked at me and asked me how long I have been in an emotionally disruptive toxic relationship because I have been so gas lit into believing that these problems were my failings and my problems.
So that led to me looking into my VA e- chart after my STBXH took the car to visit his A this morning. . . I needed to see if the signs where there and I had been so in love with love that dismissed it all. Especially since STBXH said that all the years weren't bad he did love me just not anymore.
Just reading the last years worth of notes with my therapist and medication provider I realize that I really have been internalizing all these issues and my goals for therapy like boundaries, being clear about my needs once and desires, and trying to find a balance of emotional labor. They have all been ignored and in order to cope I have had my medications adjusted and it has been a mental burden for me to do the physical and emotional labor of this soon-to-be dead marriage.
My STBXH has apparently happily moved on to his next broken woman, and because she was a trusted family friend I know this is going to f*** with her head as much as it is has mine. But AP is a grown ass adult and not my circus not my monkeys learning about the affair will only affect my mental health negatively.
My STBXH had me so used to love bombing giving me scraps of attention later and having the internalize my diagnoses as why he had to do what he did ( no intimacy on my terms, raising his voice, emotional distance). He would constantly say that I would be on my phone so I deleted all my games from my phone I would not listen to ebooks and just sit on the couch while he watch TV. I take full ownership of dissociating and doom scrolling during moments of high stress.
Again looking through my medical history I saw a pattern that I became truly dissociative during these moments and would later tell my medical care team about how I would have to mute myself or become invisible to him when I would ask for attention, validation, communication, or help and my requests were ignored or pushed back on me. Another factor is I did not realize he would raise his voice with me but get mad if I raised my voice back it has been something I have brought up over the last 2 years but it didn't click until now.
I had to know and use his love languages for him(physical touch words of affirmation quality time gift giving) but when I would ask him to follow my love languages (words of affirmation gift giving quality time) for me he would tell me that they were bullshit*. He isn't a gift giver. (FML, did I start realizing the last few good gifts I got from him were from her and if they were not I didn't get anything)
Since filing my lawyer is also helped me see how I have had the burden to do so much keeping so many balls in the air and how I need to let them all fall because my only obligation is now to myself and our two kids 16 and 14. And that I need to wake up, turn my volume up and no longer mute myself as well as become visible to myself again.
Can my STBXH use my mental health and my use of CBD/THC against me? I have always been honest with my medical care team about my recent usage of CBD THC gummies and more recently vape because I wanted to stop taking Valium for mood and anxiety attacks.
I find it so ironic that I have moments of clarity when I know he is now with his AP because he is not with me. Having him in the home with me puts my whole body on alert.
Last night he had us all meet up for a family meal and I asked if this was going to become a thing, because once the plans were made he made them with the kids my anxiety spiked so bad I started to shake and I couldn't even eat a order of broccoli and drink a glass of water when I was with him and the kids. During this meal he said we were not allowed to discuss the divorce and just focus on the kids. I am more than okay with focusing on the kids, I have gotten books and that I have been reading about co-parenting through divorce and separation as well as how to conscientiously uncouple.
When we went home that night he brought up me selling him my share of the home through the divorce and I said he we will talk with my lawyer but I want it to be sold and to have my half of the equity. I have even found people who would be interested, but so has he and that would be those in his polycule or for him to refinance with his AP. He keeps saying his divorce lawyer wants him to sell the house within the next 2 months I do not have the funds to move myself the children and our animals out of the house in that time frame.
I do not want this to drag on I would like the divorce to be done fairly, but I feel if it's rushed then I will yield to his demands. Emotionally in a rollercoaster.
Thanks for reading. Yes I will be following the advice of my lawyer and I have been in contact with my mental health care team at the VA to make sure I am taking care of myself.
submitted by G0dlessandHuman to Divorce [link] [comments]
Due to military service I have been diagnosed with CPTSD general anxiety major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder. (I also have some physical medical issues so according to the VA I am 80%servoce connected disabled)
I have been in treatment ( therapy) and medical medication management from the start. (I have self-admitted for mental health three times)
I've been with my STBXH for all this time.
So that led to me looking into my VA e- chart after my STBXH took the car to visit his A this morning. . . I needed to see if the signs where there and I had been so in love with love that dismissed it all. Especially since STBXH said that all the years weren't bad he did love me just not anymore.
Just reading the last years worth of notes with my therapist and medication provider I realize that I really have been internalizing all these issues and my goals for therapy like boundaries, being clear about my needs once and desires, and trying to find a balance of emotional labor. They have all been ignored and in order to cope I have had my medications adjusted and it has been a mental burden for me to do the physical and emotional labor of this soon-to-be dead marriage.
My STBXH has apparently happily moved on to his next broken woman, and because she was a trusted family friend I know this is going to f*** with her head as much as it is has mine. But AP is a grown ass adult and not my circus not my monkeys learning about the affair will only affect my mental health negatively.
My STBXH had me so used to love bombing giving me scraps of attention later and having the internalize my diagnoses as why he had to do what he did ( no intimacy on my terms, raising his voice, emotional distance). He would constantly say that I would be on my phone so I deleted all my games from my phone I would not listen to ebooks and just sit on the couch while he watch TV. I take full ownership of dissociating and doom scrolling during moments of high stress.
Again looking through my medical history I saw a pattern that I became truly dissociative during these moments and would later tell my medical care team about how I would have to mute myself or become invisible to him when I would ask for attention, validation, communication, or help and my requests were ignored or pushed back on me. Another factor is I did not realize he would raise his voice with me but get mad if I raised my voice back it has been something I have brought up over the last 2 years but it didn't click until now.
I had to know and use his love languages for him(physical touch words of affirmation quality time gift giving) but when I would ask him to follow my love languages (words of affirmation gift giving quality time) for me he would tell me that they were bullshit*. He isn't a gift giver. (FML, did I start realizing the last few good gifts I got from him were from her and if they were not I didn't get anything)
Since filing my lawyer is also helped me see how I have had the burden to do so much keeping so many balls in the air and how I need to let them all fall because my only obligation is now to myself and our two kids 16 and 14. And that I need to wake up, turn my volume up and no longer mute myself as well as become visible to myself again.
Can my STBXH use my mental health and my use of CBD/THC against me? I have always been honest with my medical care team about my recent usage of CBD THC gummies and more recently vape because I wanted to stop taking Valium for mood and anxiety attacks.
I find it so ironic that I have moments of clarity when I know he is now with his AP because he is not with me. Having him in the home with me puts my whole body on alert.
Last night he had us all meet up for a family meal and I asked if this was going to become a thing, because once the plans were made he made them with the kids my anxiety spiked so bad I started to shake and I couldn't even eat a order of broccoli and drink a glass of water when I was with him and the kids. During this meal he said we were not allowed to discuss the divorce and just focus on the kids. I am more than okay with focusing on the kids, I have gotten books and that I have been reading about co-parenting through divorce and separation as well as how to conscientiously uncouple.
When we went home that night he brought up me selling him my share of the home through the divorce and I said he we will talk with my lawyer but I want it to be sold and to have my half of the equity. I have even found people who would be interested, but so has he and that would be those in his polycule or for him to refinance with his AP. He keeps saying his divorce lawyer wants him to sell the house within the next 2 months I do not have the funds to move myself the children and our animals out of the house in that time frame.
I do not want this to drag on I would like the divorce to be done fairly, but I feel if it's rushed then I will yield to his demands. Emotionally in a rollercoaster.
Thanks for reading. Yes I will be following the advice of my lawyer and I have been in contact with my mental health care team at the VA to make sure I am taking care of myself.
2023.06.03 13:26 kwyleriskool Might be falsely diagnosed with BPD
During high school, I had a lot of shit happen. A. Lot. I was constantly overwhelmed, over performing, emotional. I experienced the death of a friend/first crush by suicide and it crushed me. I had zero support system, and in fact my parents made it worse. In hindsight, I can only describe my parents behavior as manipulative and selfish. I was very distraught and grieving over the death of my very good friend, and my mother decided it was best to send me to a mental health facility when I began to act out at home. (She said “I heard it was with a shotgun, that must have been a mess to clean” the day after it happened) My mother began to become extremely overbearing and developed (or maybe always had) control issues. Tracked my location 24/7 on my phone, literally watching it hour by hour. Going through my belongings/journal/phone/everything I own to find something incriminating. Wouldn’t let me hang out with friends under any circumstances. Even though I had straight A’s, took extra classes, stayed 6 hours every day after school for my extra curricular. (Lead roles in school performances, best ranked cellist in my state/first chair, varsity track and forensics/debate, 3rd best ACT scores in my class) Long ass story short, one day my mom deceived me by having the school counselor take me out to get McDonald’s, then to the hospital where my mom had lied to the police saying I had made suicide threats and told them I was abusing drugs. This fucking ruined me. The moment I realized who she really was was when I saw the look on her face when I was being dragged away in handcuffs. The police looked at me like I was dangerous and insane. I spent only a week there because I acted normal the entire time. But I still was given diagnosis of BPD Type 1 and prescriptions as well, and forced to take them or else I would be allowed to leave. Anyways, since then, I’ve realized I probably don’t have BPD and was just coerced into it to please my mother who payed all kinds of money for her weird form of punishment. (The first thing she said when I answered the phone at the mental facility was “are you ready to apologize yet?”) I haven’t taken the meds since I moved out and I haven’t had anything close to an episode. I hate that I was forced to believe I had this diagnosis just because of circumstance. It makes me feel so bad for so many people who are given false diagnosis’s just to check a box. I have a lot of resentment toward my mom, but I try so hard to remember she raised and fed me my whole life and payed for everything I needed. I don’t know what happened, but as I got older, the more control my mother needed over me. It was too much. I wish I could help my mom realize her mistakes but she’s too far gone. She can’t see any other perspective but her own and will lie and deceive to make sure her image is upheld, even at the cost of her child. For some closure, I ended up dropping out of high school when my mom kicked me out on Christmas. I only had .5 credit to graduate because of all the extra classes I had taken. I went to live with my dad but he didn’t let me leave the house for 5 months until I turned 18. right when I turned 18 I had to find an apartment, work full time, and work my ass off. Anyway, I got my GED, enrolled myself and college and currently working towards a major in Epistemology and a major in music. I guess I needed to get more off my chest than I thought but I am just so proud of myself that I pay my own bills, I pay my own apartment and car, work 12 hrs overnight, get A’s in all my college classes, and I am not even fuckin 21 yet. All by myself. Fuck u mom and dad and stepmom and stepdad saying I wouldn’t make it a week on my own after kicking me out. I did that shit. And I’m not bipolar. Just a lame ass way to put the blame on your kids reactions instead of your own actions.
If you made it here, I’m so sorry to have wasted your time. I have absolutely 0 people to talk to in life, and I’ve just wanted to get this off my chest.
submitted by kwyleriskool to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
If you made it here, I’m so sorry to have wasted your time. I have absolutely 0 people to talk to in life, and I’ve just wanted to get this off my chest.
2023.06.03 13:21 prohomes3 🔥🔥Zero Deposit 🔥🔥 Puchong, walking distance to IOI mall (near LRT station)
 | prohomes 60182700228 submitted by prohomes3 to u/prohomes3 [link] [comments] Whatsapp: https://appoin.me/prohomes_lccN Room Detail: https://appoin.me/rooms_L5HIJ "Bandar Puchong Jaya, Puchong Room For rent -Zero Deposit* -Free Tenancy Agreement Fees* -Brand New room -Free Wifi -Free cleaning Service -Included water and electricity (except Air conds) -Cooking allowed -actual photo -Last Room -Pm Me for more info -Near IOI Mall -walking distance to LRT *T&C applied" ... |
2023.06.03 13:21 JackyBoy0257 Can I teach my 5yo Bullmastiff to be genuinely defensive for serious situations?
My boy Samson is the sweetest damn dog. I raised him from 7 weeks old just to be a big teddy bear.
He has natural guardian instincts. He always gets in between me and a stranger when we go on walks. He stands tall when someone comes to the door, or walks by our apartment balcony.
He’s such a good dog.
I’ve gotten mugged twice this year just walking to our local grocery store. Someone tried to pull my girlfriend into their car at a gas station near our home. We are a bit shaken to say the least.
We feel so much safer when we walk around with Sam, but he’s skittish. He’s just too sweet. He loves people and loves pets. He’s such a good boy. I don’t even know if he’s capable of what I’m thinking.
Am I asking too much to train him to aggressively protect us? To really be a defense dog? He’s an excellent deterrent, but I know he would cower if I was getting my ass beat.
I don’t know what to do.
submitted by JackyBoy0257 to Dogtraining [link] [comments]
He has natural guardian instincts. He always gets in between me and a stranger when we go on walks. He stands tall when someone comes to the door, or walks by our apartment balcony.
He’s such a good dog.
I’ve gotten mugged twice this year just walking to our local grocery store. Someone tried to pull my girlfriend into their car at a gas station near our home. We are a bit shaken to say the least.
We feel so much safer when we walk around with Sam, but he’s skittish. He’s just too sweet. He loves people and loves pets. He’s such a good boy. I don’t even know if he’s capable of what I’m thinking.
Am I asking too much to train him to aggressively protect us? To really be a defense dog? He’s an excellent deterrent, but I know he would cower if I was getting my ass beat.
I don’t know what to do.
2023.06.03 13:15 cs-living Middle Room at Awana Puri, Cheras
 | CK 60122082780 submitted by cs-living to u/cs-living [link] [comments] Whatsapp: https://appoin.me/ck_DzZ5 Room Detail: https://appoin.me/rooms_Wl36U Awana Puri Condominium @ Taman Mutiara Barat ROOM FOR RENT Room includes:- -Queen/single size bed -Aircond -Wardrobe -Study table Unit facilities include:- -Washing machine -Dryer -Wifi -Cooking allowed Condo facilities include:- -Swimming Pool -Gym -24 hour security -Mini mart -Squash court -Sauna
|
2023.06.03 13:07 DoctorFew6709 My custom watch
 | submitted by DoctorFew6709 to 3Dprinting [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/55ak8jjwgs3b1.jpg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cc57311b81557facbd32564c3a1cf5f73bb0075 Hello everyone, To begin, sorry for my English Today I would like to present to you a personal project (my first) on which I have been working for several months.I am a novice on the Blender software and I sought with this project to improve myself and to create my first real challenge. It took me nearly 3 months and a good dozen prototypes before arriving at this result. My goal now is to completely finish this project (The Great Wave) before starting others (example: solar system, planet by planet with customized caseback and dial). The elements that I had to buy because it was impossible for me to print are:- the mechanism => Hattori/Seiko PC21 (8€)- the mineral glass => 35.9mm (4.20€)- the hands => 1.20mm & 0.70mm (5.60)- the strap => 18mm silicone strap (12€)So for a little less than 30€, I have the non-printable elements allowing me to make a custom watch. (I took all of these elements on the French site: my-montre.com - But I know that you can easily find even cheaper for the same). I'm really into Opensource and sharing. Everything I do (digitally) I make an edit/simplify copy that I share without restriction.So if you are interested, you will find below the download link for all the files (excluding markings on the caseback, otherwise my watch will no longer be a limited edition: P)Link => Wait to share this (18h in France to wait max ). I need your opinion if possible... We can see that the dial is not very clean. It's because I haven't finished it yet. To finish it I need to know what color to add in the waves (in the hollow waves) so that it looks good. Ideas ? Thanks in advance for your feedback (I share a link to an xcf file - GIMP - easy to change the blue color => in comment). Do not hesitate to ask me questions, I will try to answer them. https://preview.redd.it/4fir2qsmes3b1.jpg?width=5152&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe3b334f3d9a5d96c27ac444da96a24a7cd7c769 https://preview.redd.it/pop08etmes3b1.jpg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=413420e2aac703f294367a8029a9ceb977e47efd https://preview.redd.it/6nj41ysmes3b1.jpg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ddff5b85057276d994a7f0cda159d6085e4e18c https://preview.redd.it/69vg2ctmes3b1.jpg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e273b74319fd53d2f7e14b9381f01849ef1bb04 https://preview.redd.it/wevo9rsmes3b1.png?width=821&format=png&auto=webp&s=4bbbf86e5b19a70cecbd364d4180de018ad2b5d5 |
2023.06.03 13:06 red-0405 27 [M4F] GENUINE CONNECTION
Apologies for the frequency at which this post is appearing, as I have yet to find what I am searching for. I don't believe my standards are excessively high, but perhaps I simply don't have enough time to communicate and would rather arrange a meeting if we seem to be a good match. In any case, let me share my story.
Once upon a time, there was a tall, nerd, and not-much attractive guy pero pwede na who woke up one morning, looked at the sky, and thought, "Well, this sucks." He knew there was only one solution - to turn to the all-knowing oracle of modern dating: T̶i̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ Reddit lol.
With his trusty cup of coffee in hand, he set out to find someone who shared his thirst for knowledge, someone who could keep up with his nerdy quirks, and someone who he could eventually take on 'friendly' dates (whatever that means). He wasn't in a rush to jump into anything too serious too soon, but he knew that someday, he wanted to find someone he could build a meaningful and caring relationship with.
So if you're a fellow lover of coffee, learning, and all things nerdy, this tall drink of water might just be the partner in crime you've been looking for. Dating at times feel like a job hunt doesn't it? So I thought it’d be fun to write it in a mock format just like a resume! LOL
submitted by red-0405 to PhR4Friends [link] [comments]
Once upon a time, there was a tall, nerd, and not-much attractive guy pero pwede na who woke up one morning, looked at the sky, and thought, "Well, this sucks." He knew there was only one solution - to turn to the all-knowing oracle of modern dating: T̶i̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ Reddit lol.
With his trusty cup of coffee in hand, he set out to find someone who shared his thirst for knowledge, someone who could keep up with his nerdy quirks, and someone who he could eventually take on 'friendly' dates (whatever that means). He wasn't in a rush to jump into anything too serious too soon, but he knew that someday, he wanted to find someone he could build a meaningful and caring relationship with.
So if you're a fellow lover of coffee, learning, and all things nerdy, this tall drink of water might just be the partner in crime you've been looking for. Dating at times feel like a job hunt doesn't it? So I thought it’d be fun to write it in a mock format just like a resume! LOL
About me
An old soul as older people I spoke with would say, into business and investments, frustrated law student, can drive a fucking 10 wheeler truck (sarcasm towards people looking for someone with wheels), no ex issues or sabit, can provide a certificate of no relationship (kahit wala naman talagang ganon haha).- I'm 5'10", medium built if that matters, resides in quezon city. I would say that I'm not that much attractive but would consider myself very hygienic.
- I'm an INTJ, Aries, if you’re into MBTI and believes in horoscope.
- Loves to read self-help books as I love to learn and motivate myself along the way.
- I'm the kind of person who doesn't follow the herd blindly, even if it means standing alone in a field of conformity. My principles are like a compass, always pointing me in the right direction, even if it's not the most popular route. In short, I'm not afraid to swim against the current, as long as it's in line with my beliefs.
- You could say that my communication style is like a triple-layered cake: serious, meaningful, and sprinkled with a healthy dose of humor. Sure, I may come off as awkward at times, but that's just my way of keeping things interesting. After all, who wants a bland and flavorless conversation when you can have a deliciously complex one? So, if you're looking for someone who can engage in a thoughtful discussion, crack a few jokes, and still leave you with something to ponder, then look no further.
- I'm what you might call a clean freak with a creative streak. As someone who's a bit OC (okay, maybe more than a bit), I can't stand to see a messy or cluttered home. But don't worry, I'm not the type to wait around for someone else to do the dirty work. I take pride in noticing when something needs to be done and taking care of it without being asked - it's like a satisfying little victory every time. And when it comes to interior design and home decor, I'm practically a pro. I'm always on the hunt for the latest and greatest tools and gadgets to keep things looking fresh and stylish. So if you're looking for someone to spruce up your space and keep things sparkling clean, I'm your go-to guy.
- I'm not in the business of putting people down - unless we're talking about the volume on the stereo (badum-tss!). But seriously, I believe in treating others with kindness and respect, even when it's not the easiest thing to do. After all, life is hard enough without having to deal with someone else's negativity. So let's lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, shall we?
- I set feasible goals and actively pursue them.
Here's a list of my favorites:
| Movies/Series | Music | Places | Activities | Books |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Godfather | Radiohead | Paris (not yet) | Cycling | The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday |
| Sherlock | Eraserheads | Coffee Shops | Painting | How to Win Friends & Influence People |
| Castaway | Chicago | Cebu | Roadtrips | Meditations by Marcus Aurelius |
| Forrest Gump | Ebe Dancel | Japan | Diving | Start with Why by Simon Sinek |
| Homeland | Urbandub | Rome (not yet) | Piano | Atomic Habits by James Clear |
| Before Sunset | Frederic Chopin | Canada | Travelling | How to think like a Roman Emperor |
| The Office | Eminem | New York (not yet) | Cooking | Letters from Stoic |
| Big Bang Theory | Dr. Dre | Maldives (not yet) | Film & Photography | 48 Laws of Power |
| Breaking Bad | Elton John | Marrakesh (not yet) | Badminton | The Intelligent Investor |
Pros:
- Responsible (Good credit score, no debts, no criminal records, and self-reliant)
- Curious type of person, who's ready to listen and craves to learn a lot of things
- Doesn't do drugs and is not a heavy drinkealcoholic.
- Respects your views and accept healthy criticism.
- Actually appreciating the things you'll do for me, and showing it. If you cooked a big dinner, saying thank you is nice. Doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen is even nicer, and in my opinion, should be the norm. The cook doesn't clean. If someone does something for me, I'll show them that their effort was appreciated instead of just accepting their generosity and then running off back to whatever I'm doing.
- Accepts responsibility for one's own actions and does not try to blame everything or everyone else.
- Doesn’t play online and computer games
My preference:
- Someone who has a strong passion for accurate and comprehensive learning, maintains a normal BMI, and is beautiful and easy on the eyes - I believe that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes (no offense intended towards plus-size women!).
- High standards for what she wants and is not afraid to communicate it.
- Craves knowledge too. Love and isn't afraid to try new things
- Passionate and proud about something they've been working on/have done/are planning to do
- Confident about what they want but isn't in-your-face about it.
2023.06.03 13:06 oreha Curred then f.....d again by medic.
Hy everyone, sorry for the poor english. 35F, with IBS since I'm 7. Mostly managed today by following FODMAP diet, but it's not perfect and I still have flare as soon as I deviat or am stressed, and have sometime manageable pain , diarhea and constipation.
I give birth around 2 month ago to my first child. And after birth some miracle happen : My IBS disapear. I basicaly was back to a normal, pain-free transit 2 day after. I even had a belly FLATTER than before my pregnancy. For info, it's something that happen sometimes: digestive system is heavily impacted by pregnancy (both in good - endometriose stop- and bad - constipation-) and also by labor, so there is some sort of "reset" who happen shortly after birth. I suppose I had the main cause of my IBS "cured" by the fodmap diet, so all my "residual" IBS was some sort self sustaining stuff.
Anyway. I was pain-free, I was happy, my baby was great.
Until doctors screw up again.
Technically, they didn't screw me. During a weight check, they misdiagnose convulsion and a brain tumor to my child. Just before a weekend followed by a long holiday. So I basicaly spend 5 days in a lot of stress and bad food. I couldn't leave the hospital because I need to breast feed my baby and answer doc question. They wouldn't feed him because each day was supposed to be the last before they release him. They endup keeping us like that 5 days.
My baby was with an IV 'in case they need to admin something and branched to a monitoring 24/7 the whole time. The monitoring alarm threeshold was configure for a kid, not a newborn, so the alarm went on day and night every 20 minute. I didn't sleep more than that.
Since I wasn't the patient, my newborn was, I wasn't feed, so I basicaly had to feed myself instant noddle and microwave food for that time.
Since we were in pediatric unit, the room was shared with teenagers , so my partner wasn't allowed to stay in the room alone, and I wasn't allowed to use the room bathroom, because I could have molested them here.
The kids were great, but it still mean that each time I live, my kid would be alone with stranger. Also that each time my newborn was crying in the middle of the night, I should make him stop crying ASAP. Same with the monitoring alarm
The breast feeding was epic in itself. since my baby was wired to IV and monitoring, he was only movable around 1 meter around his bed. To short for me to sit with my back rested when I was breastfeeding. Also the bed was a medical one, aka 1m20 above the groud. The chair they gave me was a kid chair, way closer to the ground than it usualy are. You know how recently birthing women love to do squat holding a weight of 3 kg of gingling baby.
All of that for... nothing. When the specialist (neuro-psycho-pediatric) endup coming back of his vacation, he dismiss all the symptom as "weird move newborn to in their sleep" and "weird stuff imature brain look like" and send us back home ( we still have a few exam to do check the imature brain become a normal brain in 6 month, but it's more control than anything)
So anyway, my kid is fine.
But my IBS is back at full power.
Everyone expect me to thanks the medical team as they had cured a brain tumor to my kid.
But I'm furious. I was curred for a whole month, and now I feel like I've wasted a rare opportunity to live IBS free.
Also : taking care of a newborn when you have a flare a day, spending either an hour pooping or in too much pain to do anything other than laying on the floor suck. also, your postbirth perinea is badly impacted by the whole IBS shit ( pressure, cleaning trouble, etc).
submitted by oreha to ibs [link] [comments]
I give birth around 2 month ago to my first child. And after birth some miracle happen : My IBS disapear. I basicaly was back to a normal, pain-free transit 2 day after. I even had a belly FLATTER than before my pregnancy. For info, it's something that happen sometimes: digestive system is heavily impacted by pregnancy (both in good - endometriose stop- and bad - constipation-) and also by labor, so there is some sort of "reset" who happen shortly after birth. I suppose I had the main cause of my IBS "cured" by the fodmap diet, so all my "residual" IBS was some sort self sustaining stuff.
Anyway. I was pain-free, I was happy, my baby was great.
Until doctors screw up again.
Technically, they didn't screw me. During a weight check, they misdiagnose convulsion and a brain tumor to my child. Just before a weekend followed by a long holiday. So I basicaly spend 5 days in a lot of stress and bad food. I couldn't leave the hospital because I need to breast feed my baby and answer doc question. They wouldn't feed him because each day was supposed to be the last before they release him. They endup keeping us like that 5 days.
My baby was with an IV 'in case they need to admin something and branched to a monitoring 24/7 the whole time. The monitoring alarm threeshold was configure for a kid, not a newborn, so the alarm went on day and night every 20 minute. I didn't sleep more than that.
Since I wasn't the patient, my newborn was, I wasn't feed, so I basicaly had to feed myself instant noddle and microwave food for that time.
Since we were in pediatric unit, the room was shared with teenagers , so my partner wasn't allowed to stay in the room alone, and I wasn't allowed to use the room bathroom, because I could have molested them here.
The kids were great, but it still mean that each time I live, my kid would be alone with stranger. Also that each time my newborn was crying in the middle of the night, I should make him stop crying ASAP. Same with the monitoring alarm
The breast feeding was epic in itself. since my baby was wired to IV and monitoring, he was only movable around 1 meter around his bed. To short for me to sit with my back rested when I was breastfeeding. Also the bed was a medical one, aka 1m20 above the groud. The chair they gave me was a kid chair, way closer to the ground than it usualy are. You know how recently birthing women love to do squat holding a weight of 3 kg of gingling baby.
All of that for... nothing. When the specialist (neuro-psycho-pediatric) endup coming back of his vacation, he dismiss all the symptom as "weird move newborn to in their sleep" and "weird stuff imature brain look like" and send us back home ( we still have a few exam to do check the imature brain become a normal brain in 6 month, but it's more control than anything)
So anyway, my kid is fine.
But my IBS is back at full power.
Everyone expect me to thanks the medical team as they had cured a brain tumor to my kid.
But I'm furious. I was curred for a whole month, and now I feel like I've wasted a rare opportunity to live IBS free.
Also : taking care of a newborn when you have a flare a day, spending either an hour pooping or in too much pain to do anything other than laying on the floor suck. also, your postbirth perinea is badly impacted by the whole IBS shit ( pressure, cleaning trouble, etc).
2023.06.03 13:06 red-0405 27 [M4F] GENUINE CONNECTION
Apologies for the frequency at which this post is appearing, as I have yet to find what I am searching for. I don't believe my standards are excessively high, but perhaps I simply don't have enough time to communicate and would rather arrange a meeting if we seem to be a good match. In any case, let me share my story.
Once upon a time, there was a tall, nerd, and not-much attractive guy pero pwede na who woke up one morning, looked at the sky, and thought, "Well, this sucks." He knew there was only one solution - to turn to the all-knowing oracle of modern dating: T̶i̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ Reddit lol.
With his trusty cup of coffee in hand, he set out to find someone who shared his thirst for knowledge, someone who could keep up with his nerdy quirks, and someone who he could eventually take on 'friendly' dates (whatever that means). He wasn't in a rush to jump into anything too serious too soon, but he knew that someday, he wanted to find someone he could build a meaningful and caring relationship with.
So if you're a fellow lover of coffee, learning, and all things nerdy, this tall drink of water might just be the partner in crime you've been looking for. Dating at times feel like a job hunt doesn't it? So I thought it’d be fun to write it in a mock format just like a resume! LOL
submitted by red-0405 to PhR4Dating [link] [comments]
Once upon a time, there was a tall, nerd, and not-much attractive guy pero pwede na who woke up one morning, looked at the sky, and thought, "Well, this sucks." He knew there was only one solution - to turn to the all-knowing oracle of modern dating: T̶i̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ Reddit lol.
With his trusty cup of coffee in hand, he set out to find someone who shared his thirst for knowledge, someone who could keep up with his nerdy quirks, and someone who he could eventually take on 'friendly' dates (whatever that means). He wasn't in a rush to jump into anything too serious too soon, but he knew that someday, he wanted to find someone he could build a meaningful and caring relationship with.
So if you're a fellow lover of coffee, learning, and all things nerdy, this tall drink of water might just be the partner in crime you've been looking for. Dating at times feel like a job hunt doesn't it? So I thought it’d be fun to write it in a mock format just like a resume! LOL
About me
An old soul as older people I spoke with would say, into business and investments, frustrated law student, can drive a fucking 10 wheeler truck (sarcasm towards people looking for someone with wheels), no ex issues or sabit, can provide a certificate of no relationship (kahit wala naman talagang ganon haha).- I'm 5'10", medium built if that matters, resides in quezon city. I would say that I'm not that much attractive but would consider myself very hygienic.
- I'm an INTJ, Aries, if you’re into MBTI and believes in horoscope.
- Loves to read self-help books as I love to learn and motivate myself along the way.
- I'm the kind of person who doesn't follow the herd blindly, even if it means standing alone in a field of conformity. My principles are like a compass, always pointing me in the right direction, even if it's not the most popular route. In short, I'm not afraid to swim against the current, as long as it's in line with my beliefs.
- You could say that my communication style is like a triple-layered cake: serious, meaningful, and sprinkled with a healthy dose of humor. Sure, I may come off as awkward at times, but that's just my way of keeping things interesting. After all, who wants a bland and flavorless conversation when you can have a deliciously complex one? So, if you're looking for someone who can engage in a thoughtful discussion, crack a few jokes, and still leave you with something to ponder, then look no further.
- I'm what you might call a clean freak with a creative streak. As someone who's a bit OC (okay, maybe more than a bit), I can't stand to see a messy or cluttered home. But don't worry, I'm not the type to wait around for someone else to do the dirty work. I take pride in noticing when something needs to be done and taking care of it without being asked - it's like a satisfying little victory every time. And when it comes to interior design and home decor, I'm practically a pro. I'm always on the hunt for the latest and greatest tools and gadgets to keep things looking fresh and stylish. So if you're looking for someone to spruce up your space and keep things sparkling clean, I'm your go-to guy.
- I'm not in the business of putting people down - unless we're talking about the volume on the stereo (badum-tss!). But seriously, I believe in treating others with kindness and respect, even when it's not the easiest thing to do. After all, life is hard enough without having to deal with someone else's negativity. So let's lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, shall we?
- I set feasible goals and actively pursue them.
Here's a list of my favorites:
| Movies/Series | Music | Places | Activities | Books |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Godfather | Radiohead | Paris (not yet) | Cycling | The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday |
| Sherlock | Eraserheads | Coffee Shops | Painting | How to Win Friends & Influence People |
| Castaway | Chicago | Cebu | Roadtrips | Meditations by Marcus Aurelius |
| Forrest Gump | Ebe Dancel | Japan | Diving | Start with Why by Simon Sinek |
| Homeland | Urbandub | Rome (not yet) | Piano | Atomic Habits by James Clear |
| Before Sunset | Frederic Chopin | Canada | Travelling | How to think like a Roman Emperor |
| The Office | Eminem | New York (not yet) | Cooking | Letters from Stoic |
| Big Bang Theory | Dr. Dre | Maldives (not yet) | Film & Photography | 48 Laws of Power |
| Breaking Bad | Elton John | Marrakesh (not yet) | Badminton | The Intelligent Investor |
Pros:
- Responsible (Good credit score, no debts, no criminal records, and self-reliant)
- Curious type of person, who's ready to listen and craves to learn a lot of things
- Doesn't do drugs and is not a heavy drinkealcoholic.
- Respects your views and accept healthy criticism.
- Actually appreciating the things you'll do for me, and showing it. If you cooked a big dinner, saying thank you is nice. Doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen is even nicer, and in my opinion, should be the norm. The cook doesn't clean. If someone does something for me, I'll show them that their effort was appreciated instead of just accepting their generosity and then running off back to whatever I'm doing.
- Accepts responsibility for one's own actions and does not try to blame everything or everyone else.
- Doesn’t play online and computer games
My preference:
- Someone who has a strong passion for accurate and comprehensive learning, maintains a normal BMI, and is beautiful and easy on the eyes - I believe that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes (no offense intended towards plus-size women!).
- High standards for what she wants and is not afraid to communicate it.
- Craves knowledge too. Love and isn't afraid to try new things
- Passionate and proud about something they've been working on/have done/are planning to do
- Confident about what they want but isn't in-your-face about it.
2023.06.03 13:03 FelicitySmoak_ On This Day In Michael Jackson HIStory - June 3rd
 | 1972 - "I Wanna Be Where You Are" by Michael enters the Billboard US Hot Soul Singles Chart, where it will make a 12 week run for the #2 poisiton. submitted by FelicitySmoak_ to MichaelJackson [link] [comments] 1972 - "Got To Be There", the 1st solo album by Michael, enters the UK's Top 50 albums chart, where it will peak at #37 during a fiveweek run. 1973 - "Lookin' Through the Windows" by The Jackson 5 on the Motown label hits the Billboard music charts at #94, where it peaks at #7. It remains on the chart for 33 weeks. 1979 - The Jackson perform their Destiny tour at Carolina Coliseum in Columbia, South Carolina. They give a press interview at the Carolina Inn https://preview.redd.it/pevzonw90p3b1.jpg?width=826&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4557c94ddd96d571083a69d61648f2b1da0b318 1990- Michael collapses while dancing at his Westwood condo known as 'The Hideout'. He is taken to St John Hospital of Los Angeles around 9pm where he is treated for chest pains. He gets visits from the whole Jackson family (except LaToya, who sends him a dozen black roses) .Elizabeth Taylor also visits him. She had been in the hospital undergoing treatment for a near fatal bout of pneumonia since mid April. “According to his physician, he is in stable condition and appropriate tests are being conducted", nursing officials said in a prepared statement. 1992- At the Tavern On The Green in New York City, the One To One award is given to Michael by the Operation One to One organization in charge with creating better living standards for young people, for efforts committed to helping economically disadvantaged youth. Michael attends the Operation One To One Honors dinner with friends Elizabeth Taylor and Donald Trump. https://preview.redd.it/amyehkyc0p3b1.jpg?width=796&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efde03bd756b379198db612aaca5d89944821a66 https://preview.redd.it/f5wfjhke0p3b1.jpg?width=689&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab01c0a625c174290b7c7bd6b2cfca0a0ab25cf1 1992 - Crystal Cartier filed a $40 million federal lawsuit against Michael Jackson, Sony Music Entertainment, MJJ Productions and Epic Records. She alleged that she originally wrote and recorded "Dangerous." In February of 1994, a Denver Federal court jury ruled in Michael's favor 1995 - The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce rejects Michael's application to cover up the famous 'Hollywood' sign with the word 'HIStory' to promote his new compilation album 1997 - Michael Jackson plays the Mungersdorfer (now RheinEnergieStadionStadium) in Cologne, Germany, to an audience of 60,000 on the HIStory World Tour https://preview.redd.it/uvij16ug0p3b1.jpg?width=143&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=025eefd461e2750007d815abc50701398a09f4d5 https://preview.redd.it/w82z1dgh0p3b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7f536d84b116ecb748361a7620bc030783b5dc4 https://preview.redd.it/vetxb87i0p3b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd578aef6dc5a0aa49ffeb709f61858dd559d0d3 https://preview.redd.it/nrxko7xi0p3b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3735e8bdfa8770c510fc9f333334a994d0b0daba 2005 - Trial Day 67 Michael goes to court with Katherine, Joe, Janet and LaToya. https://preview.redd.it/vaspltik0p3b1.jpg?width=448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=311e351bf79f39a8d48cf4681686247b2f20fb19 Michael was greeted outside court by hundreds of chanting fans. He arrived with his parents and his famous siblings - Janet, LaToya, Jermaine, Tito and Randy. They waved to the fans chants of Michael is Innocent! https://preview.redd.it/p8jtchhn0p3b1.jpg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9cb1c23e69cfefb6e4608aa16b3650011976c106 Defense attorneys completed their closing arguments, labeling the Arvizo family liars and con artists trying to pull the biggest con of their careers. "They are trying to take advantage of Michael Jackson," said impassioned defense attorney Thomas Mesereau. "They are trying to profit from Michael Jackson. They think they have pulled it off. They are just waiting for one thing - your verdict." "What they are trying to do to Michael Jackson is so harmful, so brutal, so devastating if you have any reasonable doubt about the double-talk, the lies, its over. You must acquit Michael Jackson," he told the 12 jurors. Mesereau spoke about the American system of justice and said, "We have the best system in the world and ladies and gentlemen I'm begging you to honor the system. You must acquit him." He accused prosecutors of trying to "dirty up Michael" because they lack the evidence to prove their case. "The witnesses are preposterous, the perjury is everywhere," Mesereau declared. "None of it works. The only thing they've had is to throw dirt all over the place and hope it sticks." He added: "If you look in your hearts do you believe Michael Jackson is evil in that way? Is it even possible? It really is not." Mesereau then played excerpts from a video in which Jackson denies any sexual impropriety and said that he had never been betrayed or deceived by children. The defense attorney conceded that Jackson had been lax with his money and had let the wrong people into his circle. But, he said, the singer was not the monster the prosecution were trying to depict and that he was not guilty of any crime. Afterwards, prosecutor Ron Zonen delivered a brief rebuttal. He sought to answer the question of Jacksons motivation for the crime asking, "Why would Mr. Jackson do it? Because he could This child was in love with him. This child would do anything he said." Zonen reminded jurors of the past allegations made against Jackson saying that this was necessary in order to see the total picture. He claimed that Jackson was in love with his 1993 accuser and added that the current accuser is a clone of the boy in that case. After both sides rested for the last time, Judge Rodney Melville ordered the eight women and four men on the jury to begin their deliberations. He gave them a 98-page book of instructions. The Judge told Jackson that he could stay at Neverland during the proceedings but requested that the attorneys remain within 10 minutes of the courthouse in case the jurors had any questions. These deliberations are the final stage of an ordeal that began 14 weeks ago. During this time the jury has heard testimony from over 130 witnesses. A verdict was expected early next week. Court Transcript While Jury deliberations take place, the whole Jackson family waits for the verdict at Neverland. https://preview.redd.it/lh5l7gqo0p3b1.jpg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5967b6b6c73b0a56bec2b5b8e28f20e68b9ddb7 2008 - Michael has dinner with Thomas Barrack Jr, chairman and CEO of Colony Capital LLC, at the Las Vegas Hilton's Verona Sky Villa. 2009 - Michael goes to Culver Studios with Prince, Paris & Kenny Ortega, where he shoots “The Drill” 3D https://preview.redd.it/5lzzqj2t0p3b1.jpg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8747a49dd0f9c68ae73b6f93fa21e2f9e01b6a77 https://preview.redd.it/hezl4ayt0p3b1.jpg?width=199&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1dae7ef1a99ee196a5be6dbfb8cd5ab243856f58 He also, once again, goes to Dr Klein’s in Beverly Hills. 2013 - Jackson v AEG Trial Day 22 No Jackson family member was at the courthouse. Paul Gongaware AEG cross Putnam asked Gongaware if MJ was comfortable with all the show dates. "Yes, I went through all of the dates with him," Gongaware said. Bugzee, the tour manager, had a big calendar on the walls, Gongaware explained, saying they changed the dates of the shows four times. The jury was shown an email in which Gongaware worked with a staffer to create a calendar to show Jackson. He wanted colors changed. He wanted the calendar to be changed so that it reflected Jackson's show dates and off days differently. Gongaware email: Figure it out so it looks like he's not working so muchAs to the email, Putnam asked if he was trying to fool Michael: "No, I was trying to make it clear, trying to get it just the way I wanted it," Gongaware responded.After changing 4 show dates Gongaware said Michael was comfortable with it. He would do 8 shows in July, 10 in August, 9 in September. There would be no shows in October, November and December, resuming with 10 shows in January, 10 in February and three in March. No back-to-back shows. Gongaware said the O2 Arena had a previous commitment in Oct-Dec of 2009 and they could not have the concerts. Putnam: "Was this a rigorous schedule?"Gongaware recalled that on the HIStory tour they did 10-12 shows per month, from country to country, but this one would stay in London only. Gongaware said he wasn't concerned with Michael's age. "He seemed great to me," he said, and this was stationary show, didn't have to travel. Gongaware: The reason Michael wanted to delay the 1st show was he wanted more time to rehearse in the O2 Arena where the show would take place.He said Michael and Kenny Ortega would decide the rehearsal schedule. Gongaware explained Michael didn't have to attend rehearsals, since it was not part of his deal. He said they never require an artist to rehearse. "I didn't have any expectation," Gongaware said regarding Michael rehearsing. He said he's never seen a requirement for a musicial artist to rehearse & that during the HIStory tour, Michael didn't rehearse but nailed it. "When it was game time, he would show up," Gongaware explained. For instance, Gongaware cited an outdoor concert in Bangkok in high heat, humidity. As to the email Gongaware wrote about calling Michael lazy, he said he used unfortunate choices of words, Michael didn't like to rehearse. Talking about the elements of the show, Gongaware described what they wanted to do for the opening of the show. He said Michael would be dressed up in a LED suit, like a television, flashing on him brief movie about things that happened in history. Michael would be lowered down onto the stage. He called the LED suit a "Moon man" suit, but Ortega called it "Light man." Putnam showed a presentation of how the LED suit idea would work. Footage is not on This Is It documentary because it was early stages of prep. Gongaware said the 1st idea was to make Michael float from the audience, but they couldn't make it work. So they decided to lower him down onto the stage. Gongaware said the big screen on the back of the stage was 3D capable. The audience would be given glasses when they entered the show. The 3D songs would be Thriller, Earth Song and Smooth Criminal. "He wanted to do biggest, best show ever, live show," Gongaware said Putnam showed email chain from Ortega to Gongaware asking to make a deal with choreographer Travis Payne. Answer from Gongaware: This is not AEG money, it's Michael's money so it takes a lot of time to get approvalsDefendants were trying to establish a pattern that all the money spent was actually Michael's money, not AEG's, just like with Dr. Murray At one point Gongaware said he learned from Michael about a doctor named Murray. "He came to me and said he wanted his personal doctor on the tour". Gongaware said he suggested to Michael to get a licensed doctor in London who would know the lay of the land, in case of need. "This is the machine, we have to take care of the machine. I want Conrad," Gongaware said Michael responded. I think what he meant was his brain could create it but his body had to deliver the show every night Putnam: "Were you surprised he wanted to take his doctor on tour?"Gongaware said other artists take doctors as well, so he was not the only one and it didn't surprise him. Gongaware said he's been on tour before where an artist had chiropractors, but couldn't remember being in one with a doctor Putnam: "Did you worry Michael might have a health issue?"Gongaware said the suggestion for a London doctor was due to the cost; paying a doctor full time was much more expensive than hiring a local doctor. Gongaware said Dr. Murray treated Michael for about three years before 2009. He knew the doctor was from Las Vegas but said he was in LA. Gongaware said he then called Dr. Murray to work out a deal. Gongaware testified he didn't have Michael's direct phone number, would go through Michael Amir Williams, his personal assistant, to reach him. Gongaware called Murray on behalf of Michael saying the singer wanted to take him to London. "What do you want to be paid for that," Gongaware asked. Gongaware said he thought Dr. Murray was expecting his call and was aware of the desire to take him on tour. "He said he would need $5 million," Gongaware recalled. "He said he has 4 clinics to close, would lay off people, needs $5 million for that." Asked by Putnam if Murray's price was reasonable: "It was ridiculous," Gongaware said about the amount asked. "It was a lot of money for something like that and Michael could not afford it." Gongaware said he responded that it wasn't going to work" He said this was the first time he spoke with Dr. Murray. After that, Gongaware said he told Michael Amir and Randy Phillips what the doctor had asked. He also told Frank DiLeo. Gongaware said a lot of people who wanted to work for MJ asked for huge sums of money, thinking he had a lot. Putnam: "Would you be doing this if Michael had not asked you?""He was Michael's doctor, Michael wanted him. That was it," Gongaware said. Putnam:" Did you think about checking the doctor?"" I'm not going to tell Michael Jackson who his doctor should be," Gongaware explained. "It wasn't my place to say who his doctor was going to be," Gongaware said. "It was his decision." Gongaware said he doesn't think a doctor's financial situation has anything to do with being an ethical doctor. Gongaware said it never crossed his mind to either do a background check on Dr. Murray or to suggest to anyone to do it. "I just expect doctors to be ethical, the financial side of their lives shouldn't have an impact on their medical decision," Gongaware opined. Gongaware said he never did a background check on anyone he hired and had he done one on Dr. Murray, it would've been out of the ordinary. He also said he never considered performing background checks on Jackson's makeup artist, a choreographer who worked one-on-one with the singer or Kenny Ortega, the tour's director. "I didn't see the need for it," he said. Dr. Finkelstein, a friend of Gongaware, said a doctor should charge $10,000 a month for the tour work. But Dr. Finkelstein would've done it for free, since he was on the Dangerous tour before and had a lot of fun The second call about Dr. Murray came from Michael Amir Williams saying they were going to need to get a deal done for the doctor. Gongaware said he heard Michael in the car saying "offer 150, offer 150." Gongaware understood that to be $150k/month. Gongaware called Dr. Murray, said he was authorized to offer him $150k a month. He said Dr. Murray responded that he couldn't do it for that. Gongaware told him the offer came directly from the artist and Dr. Murray responded: "I'll take it" Gongaware said Michael approved the amount of compensation. "Michael told me offer 150," Gongaware recalled. "And that's what I did." Gongaware inquired from Dr. Murray how he would get a license in London and the doctor told him not to worry about it. They talked about Dr. Murray's request for a house in London, and the doctor said he would need a three bedroom house. Gongaware recalled Dr. Murray saying he would probably need an assistant and some equipment, but no details were given at this point. After the call, Gongaware said he let Michael Amir Williams know what the result was in a May 6th email: Done at 150k per month, per MJ. He needs about 10 days to wind down his practice then he will be full time Asked why he had negotiated with Murray, the AEG executive replied that he was "instructed to by Michael Jackson." Gongaware said there was no other reason for him to deal with the doctor. Marvin Putnam asked Gongaware why he didn't tell Jackson he couldn't take Murray on tour with him."Because he could if he wanted," Gongaware said. Gongaware said he passed Dr. Murray on to Timm Wooley, never had any other conversation with Dr. Murray about him possibly going to London. Putnam: "Do you have any understanding as to whether a contract with Dr. Murray was executed?"Gongaware said Michael was ultimately responsible for his own health: "I think everyone is responsible for their own health and well being. He was a grown man with the capability to make decisions regarding his health and medical care"Putnam showed Gongaware a frame from the This Is It film in which Jackson's manager, Frank Dileo, was sitting in on dancer auditions. Dancers auditions took place at the Nokia Theater on April 13, 14 & 15. Michael attended the last day and made the final decision, Gongaware said. He said Ortega wanted to film the audition to use fresh footage on michaeljacksonlive.com. The cost for crew to shoot the audition was very high, so Gongaware bought a couple of cameras and used his own crew to shoot the rehearsals. He said he wasn't sure what he would use the video for, but thought the website would be a good platform. Gongaware said during the period at Center Staging, Michael was good, engaging, didn't think there were any health issues or was using drugs Gongaware said the media in the UK was going wild with gossip about Michael Jackson. "They just lie about things." The Sun claimed Michael had skin cancer on his chest. "It was sport over in London," Gongaware said about stories on tabloids. Gongaware testified about emails in which UK press agents working on This Is It sent him tabloid reports on Michael's health. Gongaware said he urged the press agents not to respond. He wanted Jackson's performance to speak for itself & silence skeptics. Gongaware on 5/27/09: The Kid is healthy and rehearsing every day. He was still there at dance rehearsals at 9pm last night when I left. Our redemption will be when he does his shows, that makes all of this build up so damn sweet. We don't have to sell tickets, so we can just sit back and prove them wrong by just doing it.Gongaware said he was not concerned "If there was something going on, if he had cancer, we would've heard about it."Michael Jackson rehearsal venues:
Putnam went through a chain of emails about tabloid reports in the UK regarding Michael. In one, it said Michael had asked AEG to reduce the number of shows by half. Gongaware said that such a discussion never happened. Gongaware testified he woke up to one gossip headline pretty much every day. His idea was simply to ignore the tabloids. "An amazing show would be the answer", Gongaware said Gongaware on 6/5/09 in response to Sunday Mirror Query: "We can only make this work, of course, if MJ puts on the best show of his life. I'm here to tell you that be will. I have seen it for myself. Last night he ran 9 songs with full band, singers and dancers. Sang every one, he was amazing, captivating, riveting. And he's just getting started. Taking it one step further. When people realize that bulls**t the press has been, they will be in receptive mood for the truth Hey look. No skin cancer. He's just a good dad, loving raising his kids. His art and his craft are paramount. A gentle, loving man who does care about people"The shows were going to be spectacular," Gongaware said. Putnam showed a clip of Michael in front of a green screen with 11 dancers, who would become 11,000. Gongaware said Michael was great at this point Regarding email Phillips sent Gongaware directing to remove Michael's "skeletal" scenes Gongaware said he didn't take anything out of the movie. Putnam: "Did you remove anything from the movie?"Putnam showed a clip from This Is It with the making of "Thriller 3D" and Jackson wearing red jacket. Putnam: "Did you try to alter in anyway how Mr. Jackson looked, appeared?"Gongaware said he didn't remember any of the footage been removed because of how Michael looked. "We just let the footage speak for itself" The mini-movie of "Earth Song" a bulldozer would come out from a ramp in center stage. Putnam: "A real bulldozer?"Gongaware said they had to build the bulldozer like a prop. It would appear at the end of the song on stage. "I think the live audience would be just captivated by it," Gongaware said about the little girl running after the last plant on Earth song. End of the show would be 3D animation. An airplane taxis up, door opens, Michael entered the plane. The airplane door closes, Michael would actually take an elevator down and out of the building, but the plane would take off over the audience Gongaware said he didn't know if anyone was responsible for Michael's nourishment. Tour would be demanding and exhausting Gongaware said he met Dr. Murray once at MJ's Carolwood house and ran into him at The Forum during rehearsal. There was a meeting scheduled to discuss Michael's nutrition with Randy Phillips, Kenny Ortega, Dr. Murray, Michael, Gongaware and DiLeo. Putnam: "Do you recall anyone in that meeting ever telling Dr. Murray how he should be treating Michael?"Gongaware said he didn't have any medical training and wasn't qualified to tell Conrad Murray how to treat Jackson Gongaware said neither Dr. Murray nor Michael talked about the treatment he was receiving. The meeting was about nutrition & vitamin therapy. Gongaware said he had no idea Dr. Murray was giving Michael Propofol and first heard of the anesthetic after Michael died. Gongaware said Dr. Murray was really engaged in the meeting, seemed like a very intelligent guy and wanted to take care of Michael very much. This was the first time Gongaware met with Dr. Murray. He said there were no signs of Michael being poorly treated by the doctor. "Michael was engaged in the meeting, attentive, seemed happy we were having this meeting," Gongaware opined. "He's a doctor, he'd know better than anybody how to treat his patient," Gongaware said about Dr. Murray. As to Gongaware's email saying AEG, not Michael, paid Dr Murray he said he was mistaken. "We wouldn't pay his salary, we'd advance Michael's money". Gongaware said he didn't remember writing/receiving the email, but never denied he did it. As to Michael being habitually late, Gongaware said the singer worked on his own schedule, did things his way Gongaware said his understanding was that Michael hired a trainer of his choice, Louis (Lou) Ferrigno: "I made the deal with him (Ferrigno). He was supposed to be paid a certain amount of money per session" He didn't elaborate on fee, how many times he worked with Michael. Putnam showed an email from Travis Payne, he suggested a massage chair to be put in Michael's dressing room.As to Bugzee's email saying MJ needed cheeseburgers, brats and beers, Gongaware said Bugzee was joking, Bugzee cared very much for Michael. Gongaware testified he didn't recall having any concern about Michael's health/using painkillers as of Monday 6/15/09, 10 days prior to his death Gongaware was asked about several emails that have been shown before, including messages related to MJ missing rehearsal on June 19, 2009. The executive was on the East Coast for a family wedding, but responded to one message questioning why Murray wasn't at rehearsal. Gongaware email: Take the doctor with you. Why wasn't he there last night?He then explained his thinking to the jury. Gongaware: If his patient is having a problem and he's sick, and he's his only patient, it seemed like he should be thereGongaware said on 6/19/09, he was out of town. "This is the day Michael had chills at rehearsal and was apparently sick," Gongaware recalled. "If the meeting was going to be about what happened that night, the doctor should be there," Gongaware said. Gongaware said he believed Michael wanted to go on tour. He said he doesn't remember anyone talking about pulling the plug on the shows. Putnam: "Did anyone tell you at this point that Michael needed a drug addiction specialist?"Gongaware said that on 6/20/09 he did not think Michael's health was deteriorating. With last questions of the day, Putnam asked Gongaware if he was concerned about Jackson's well-being. He said "Yes" Court Transcript |
2023.06.03 13:01 TrickOk2137 Inconsiderate or overthinking?
I know this is trivial in comparison to a lot of the posts on here but I’m kinda trippin about it..
I’ve been working hard to better myself and get my family back together this past year. My ex and I split a little over a year ago after ten years and 2 kids together. I was selfish in a lot of ways, I was burnt out, lazy in life and as a lover. She cheated, I kicked her out, later told her I wanted to make it work, she wouldn’t commit one way or another and we’ve been kind of off and on since.. But things have been going well lately.. We been hanging out as a family (with our two kids) a lot lately and been slowly rekindling the flame w my ex. Last weekend was her wknd w the kids, I spent it with them and had a great time. Her and I got some alone time and that went well too, we also slept together for the first time in a long time. I finally started feeling like things are going in the right direction. My bday is in 2 weeks and we’re gonna spend the day together with the kids then go out just me and her at night.
This week was a rough week for her, kids have been sick and she hasn’t been sleeping much or feeling well either. We live two hours away so I feel helpless when stuff like this happens. She came up tonight after work and dropped the kids off. Normally I make the trip to pick them up on Fridays but my car is being fixed so she offered. She got here late, like 11, and asked if she could stay the night because she has to be at work at 5am and wasn’t feeling good. I said of course. She got into my bed and I took care of the kids til they fell asleep.
Got into my room around 12, she was up and said her neck was bothering her so I rubbed it for her til she fell asleep. I work graveyard so I don’t sleep at night, or much at all really.. around 130 I went into my bathroom, shaved, showered, washed face while playing low music on my phone. I got out and she was wide awake saying I woke her up by doing all that. It’s a master bed/bath and the separation between the bathroom and bed is a couple feet. I closed the door but still.. I apologized and she didn’t seem mad or come off angry she just said she needed to be up in 40 mins and decided to go to sleep in the living room.
Like I said I apologized and I feel terrible. I didn’t think id be loud enough to wake her but I feel like it was inconsiderate af for me to do that, which is somethin she has called me out for numerous times in the past.. I knew she had to be up in a few hours and hasn’t slept or been feeling well. I know she’s a light sleeper too, so idk what I was thinking. I feel like I just fucked up all the progress Ive made by being so inconsiderate. Am I overthinking?
submitted by TrickOk2137 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
I’ve been working hard to better myself and get my family back together this past year. My ex and I split a little over a year ago after ten years and 2 kids together. I was selfish in a lot of ways, I was burnt out, lazy in life and as a lover. She cheated, I kicked her out, later told her I wanted to make it work, she wouldn’t commit one way or another and we’ve been kind of off and on since.. But things have been going well lately.. We been hanging out as a family (with our two kids) a lot lately and been slowly rekindling the flame w my ex. Last weekend was her wknd w the kids, I spent it with them and had a great time. Her and I got some alone time and that went well too, we also slept together for the first time in a long time. I finally started feeling like things are going in the right direction. My bday is in 2 weeks and we’re gonna spend the day together with the kids then go out just me and her at night.
This week was a rough week for her, kids have been sick and she hasn’t been sleeping much or feeling well either. We live two hours away so I feel helpless when stuff like this happens. She came up tonight after work and dropped the kids off. Normally I make the trip to pick them up on Fridays but my car is being fixed so she offered. She got here late, like 11, and asked if she could stay the night because she has to be at work at 5am and wasn’t feeling good. I said of course. She got into my bed and I took care of the kids til they fell asleep.
Got into my room around 12, she was up and said her neck was bothering her so I rubbed it for her til she fell asleep. I work graveyard so I don’t sleep at night, or much at all really.. around 130 I went into my bathroom, shaved, showered, washed face while playing low music on my phone. I got out and she was wide awake saying I woke her up by doing all that. It’s a master bed/bath and the separation between the bathroom and bed is a couple feet. I closed the door but still.. I apologized and she didn’t seem mad or come off angry she just said she needed to be up in 40 mins and decided to go to sleep in the living room.
Like I said I apologized and I feel terrible. I didn’t think id be loud enough to wake her but I feel like it was inconsiderate af for me to do that, which is somethin she has called me out for numerous times in the past.. I knew she had to be up in a few hours and hasn’t slept or been feeling well. I know she’s a light sleeper too, so idk what I was thinking. I feel like I just fucked up all the progress Ive made by being so inconsiderate. Am I overthinking?
2023.06.03 12:50 Efficient-Comb-8198 What these dreams trying to tell me?
I had a dream of unknown city and residents to me, in this city there were two sides, one for the locals and the other for scientists of whom all are archeologists (read yesterday that Carl jung wanted to study archaeology). The dream mostly took place in the archeologist’s zone. It seems like there was an outbreak of some predatory creatures far a way and the evacuation alert siren went on and there were the avocation organizers knocking doors of the houses of the archeologists telling them to go hide in the bio-lab which was underground. I noticed a full body fossil behind one of the archeologists who opened his door. They headed to the bio-lab and one of the archeologists who was Asian wanted to take his mummy fossil to the bio-lab but he was rejected like so many other archeologists who were forced to leave their fossils next the bio-lab door but this Asian guy had a brother who was from the organizer and he let him take his fossil. Down the bio-lab the archeologists were in teams (female and male each team). A female (No 1) from one team decided to detach her team mate and go out saying it’s not dangerous (she was kinda egotistical) and some other female (No 2) was mocking her male friend in an aggressive manner saying he’s not reliable nor capable and she went out too from the back door same as the previous girl. Later Female No 1 was killed by these creatures and was placed on the door with some other dead guy and later female No 2 was coming back from the local zone to the bio-lab and was about to open the door which behind was placed the two dead people ( they weren’t place by the creatures but rather the were injured and tried to run away but died when they reached the door)
The dream have little personal associations to me other than these:
A women (this women represents guidance figure in my real life) came our house (it was 50% different from my real house) and cleaned my father and mother room from these shadowy entities, I was suspecting her way would work and she asked me if my ears are ringing, I said no. Then the entities left the house and I heard their loud screams, we went to the back yard to see that they turned into dark gooey animals ( not a specific animal but they seem hybrid from different species only one was recognizable black goat ) all were running away in the back yard, they weren’t harmful but rather weak and scared. Then the women asked me if my ears are ringing I said yes and she said it’s bc now you are convinced the cleaning worked. We went inside (me, the women, my sister and mother) they sat in a room while I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and there I started coughing wanting to vomit but my mom was discussed by the sound I was making and she was shouting, I couldn’t vomit and I woke up.
I’d be grateful for some for your insight and opinion, feel free to suggest whatever bc previous suggestions were really helpful and eye opening.
submitted by Efficient-Comb-8198 to Jung [link] [comments]
The dream have little personal associations to me other than these:
- Archeologists: Carl jung wanted to study archaeology
- The creatures outbreak reminds me a movie called The Mist, I saw the movie when I was 15 y/o
- Ik no one in the dream
- I was in the dream as a watcher not as a participant as if I’m watching a movie.
- Note: am a 25 y/o female
A women (this women represents guidance figure in my real life) came our house (it was 50% different from my real house) and cleaned my father and mother room from these shadowy entities, I was suspecting her way would work and she asked me if my ears are ringing, I said no. Then the entities left the house and I heard their loud screams, we went to the back yard to see that they turned into dark gooey animals ( not a specific animal but they seem hybrid from different species only one was recognizable black goat ) all were running away in the back yard, they weren’t harmful but rather weak and scared. Then the women asked me if my ears are ringing I said yes and she said it’s bc now you are convinced the cleaning worked. We went inside (me, the women, my sister and mother) they sat in a room while I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and there I started coughing wanting to vomit but my mom was discussed by the sound I was making and she was shouting, I couldn’t vomit and I woke up.
I’d be grateful for some for your insight and opinion, feel free to suggest whatever bc previous suggestions were really helpful and eye opening.
2023.06.03 12:45 jrcroom Medium Room at Pacific Place, Ara Damansara
 | Martin 60193333084 submitted by jrcroom to u/jrcroom [link] [comments] Whatsapp: https://appoin.me/martin_vLyg Room Detail: https://appoin.me/rooms_5V0yR PACIFICPLACE ARA DAMANSARANEXT to LRT‼️WE PROVIDE‼️ ✅ FURNISH ROOM WITH AIRCON ✅ AIRCON WITH OWN METER ✅ RENTAL INCLUDING UTILITY ✅ WATER DISPENSER ✅ MICROWAVE ✅ WASHING MACHINE ✅ COOKING ALLOW ✅ FREE COOKING GAS ✅ FREE 100Mbps/500Mbps WiFi with NO limits ✅ FREE Weekly Cleaning service at common area ✅ SERVICE & MAINTENANCE ON DEMAND... |
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2023.06.03 12:41 WHy_aM_i_4LiV3 I wasted 4 n a half years to get cheated on
I've been with my gf since 2019. I've been doing all i could to make her happy, i would cook, I would clean, I would ride 9 km on my bike in 20 minutes when she got drunk and wanted to kill herself. I've devoted my whole life for her, the only reason I tried to better myself, i studied and worked was for her. When we started dating i was in a mental ditch and she helped me open up she would listen when i talked about my troubles with self esteem, she would comfort me when i would break down crying afraid that im not good enough.
Three weeks ago she started sexting with some random guy she met that same day.
She told me that she went volounteering in some movie and she men a few guys, who started flirting with her in a way that she described as "any other girl would be disgusted" but she felt like sbd wanted her body and it made her feel good so she flirted back. She said that she got contact to one of the guys and that he's really nice and nerdy, intelligent, depressed on therapy and over all really similar to me, in ger type. Then she said that she thinks she might be polyamorous and she wants to talk dirty with him cus it makes her feel wanted. (Later i also got out of her that she already planned out another meeting w/ him).
(Quick note its not the first time she had someone behind my back. Throughout the first 6 months we were together she was sending nudes to three guys behind my back. Obvs to get attention. I didn't care then but now i can't get the thought of that scenario repeating the third time)
I said that from my pov she isn't polyamorous because she does not love him, she just lies to me and uses him for boosting her self esteem, and that she sould cut contact with him and go to therapy instead using others to feel better.
Later i read their convo.
From the fucking beginning it was forced to be sexual and not by him but by her (i got in contact w/ the guy and he is fucking asexual so he did it only cus she wanted it). I read their messages and it was mostly what i would tell throughout those 4 years to her to show her that i want her cus she had low self esteem, other than that there she send a vibrator pic calling it "a soft pic". She forced the same validation i tried to give her out of someone else, showing me that I'm clearly not enough for her.
She went on a charade of crying and acting like she was bouta kill herself which clearly is manipulation yet she doesn't fucking realize it is. Few days later she started assuring that she still loves me and she will fight for me. She knows that she hurt me really bad and she will listen to my emotions and i won't have to do anything cus she will be the one to take care of me now. And i liked that.
Week later when i have another breakdown (which i have daily now and only way to avoid it is either drinking or playing fallout 2 till i fall asleep) and so far before that she would just hug me and start reassuring me as i instructed her to do. This time she started bitching about it cus "it doesn't motivate her to try" n shit. I was speechless. I started talking something i don't really remember but i said that we shoud stop seeing each other for a while. We gonna meet it 23rd of june.
I don't trust her anymore. I don't know what to do, i feel like i sort of still love her, most the time i hate her for what she did. I can't enjoy anything anymore, i feel like im useless, i can't go on anymore. I want to kill myself. But then i get jealous about her just getting to use me, ruin my life and just go out unharmed and then i want to do a murder suicide. I don't know what to do, i can't go on anymore. Please let me die, i hate it here
submitted by WHy_aM_i_4LiV3 to depression [link] [comments]
Three weeks ago she started sexting with some random guy she met that same day.
She told me that she went volounteering in some movie and she men a few guys, who started flirting with her in a way that she described as "any other girl would be disgusted" but she felt like sbd wanted her body and it made her feel good so she flirted back. She said that she got contact to one of the guys and that he's really nice and nerdy, intelligent, depressed on therapy and over all really similar to me, in ger type. Then she said that she thinks she might be polyamorous and she wants to talk dirty with him cus it makes her feel wanted. (Later i also got out of her that she already planned out another meeting w/ him).
(Quick note its not the first time she had someone behind my back. Throughout the first 6 months we were together she was sending nudes to three guys behind my back. Obvs to get attention. I didn't care then but now i can't get the thought of that scenario repeating the third time)
I said that from my pov she isn't polyamorous because she does not love him, she just lies to me and uses him for boosting her self esteem, and that she sould cut contact with him and go to therapy instead using others to feel better.
Later i read their convo.
From the fucking beginning it was forced to be sexual and not by him but by her (i got in contact w/ the guy and he is fucking asexual so he did it only cus she wanted it). I read their messages and it was mostly what i would tell throughout those 4 years to her to show her that i want her cus she had low self esteem, other than that there she send a vibrator pic calling it "a soft pic". She forced the same validation i tried to give her out of someone else, showing me that I'm clearly not enough for her.
She went on a charade of crying and acting like she was bouta kill herself which clearly is manipulation yet she doesn't fucking realize it is. Few days later she started assuring that she still loves me and she will fight for me. She knows that she hurt me really bad and she will listen to my emotions and i won't have to do anything cus she will be the one to take care of me now. And i liked that.
Week later when i have another breakdown (which i have daily now and only way to avoid it is either drinking or playing fallout 2 till i fall asleep) and so far before that she would just hug me and start reassuring me as i instructed her to do. This time she started bitching about it cus "it doesn't motivate her to try" n shit. I was speechless. I started talking something i don't really remember but i said that we shoud stop seeing each other for a while. We gonna meet it 23rd of june.
I don't trust her anymore. I don't know what to do, i feel like i sort of still love her, most the time i hate her for what she did. I can't enjoy anything anymore, i feel like im useless, i can't go on anymore. I want to kill myself. But then i get jealous about her just getting to use me, ruin my life and just go out unharmed and then i want to do a murder suicide. I don't know what to do, i can't go on anymore. Please let me die, i hate it here
2023.06.03 12:39 IveDoneItAtLast Mr July isn't boring - he's one of us!
 | David Morgan, 72, from the Cotswolds, has the world's largest traffic cone collection and features in July. submitted by IveDoneItAtLast to ConeHeads [link] [comments] He began collecting in 1986 and now has more than 500 around his house, including a Malaysian cone he found washed up on a beach in Sicily and a 1956 Lynvale rubber cone from Scotland. 'Some people probably think it's dull. If I go to dinner parties and tell people I'm a cone collector they quickly move on,' he said. 'My children are slightly embarrassed by my collection. I store them in the shed, the garage, the greenhouse and even under the bed. Luckily they stack well. 'I carry traffic cones with me in the car and if I see a rare one I ask if I can swap it.' Link to article: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2777801/amp/Drain-spotter-traffic-cone-collector-brick-fan-pin-ups-feature-calendar-Britain-s-boring-men.html |
2023.06.03 12:35 Emotional-Oven9767 Recently had a breakup, and wanted to share my story, maybe venting if that what it is called
Soo I met a girl online on a gaming platform, we just clicked, we were flirting and she told me she liked me and I liked her too she was ready for a long distance relationship too but I was not comfortable with a long distance relationship due to my past experiences, and my work allowed me to switch location soo I went moved to her city and we started dating, we used to live together on weekends , she had an apartment reneted and I stayed in a pg, she was more comfortable at her place so I used to travel to her place every Friday night till Monday morning to be with her, we had a happy year long relationship. We laughed, cried, danced, drank, cooked, cleaned, wash dishes together. Smoked up for the first time in my life with her. Got used to smoking a bit. I was living my best life. Yes felt like she's been using my money for groceries and whenever we used to go someplace nice, but it was fine .
Later at the end of the year I decided to switch job and the other job required me to be in a different city. And at the same time something terrible happend at my home I was very disturbed because of that maybe it was my lowest point in my life. Soo as the day came close when I had to move out of the city she told me that she wants to breakup with me as she doesn't wants to be in a long distance relationship and it won't work for her.
I just felt it soo devastating for me. I thought she was the one. We connected really good. And suddenly she broke up. She was the one wanted to be with me even if it was a long distance a year back. And now suddenly felt like nothing matters to her. I was soo invested in her for nothing. A year worth of spending time together was nothing And that to If she were to breakup on a normal time when I was in a normal state of mind I would have processed it better. But she brokeup when I was at my lowest point in my life. She said she would be there for me as a friend and whenever I need to share Something she would be there.
I tried talking her after when I felt low. But it was just dry conversation almost like she's ghosting me. Yesterday she said she can't talk to me this frequent ( we used to talk twice a week) as she's very busy with her work. .
I had some of my stuff left at her place went to collect it, reached to her place after driving for 2 hours and she lived at 3rd floor she brought my stuff down at the main gate of the building. Didn't let me in or asked how am I doing or anything.
Sometimes I just feel she was using me for groceries lol. And maybe someone to pay the bills at fancy places.
submitted by Emotional-Oven9767 to onexindia [link] [comments]
Later at the end of the year I decided to switch job and the other job required me to be in a different city. And at the same time something terrible happend at my home I was very disturbed because of that maybe it was my lowest point in my life. Soo as the day came close when I had to move out of the city she told me that she wants to breakup with me as she doesn't wants to be in a long distance relationship and it won't work for her.
I just felt it soo devastating for me. I thought she was the one. We connected really good. And suddenly she broke up. She was the one wanted to be with me even if it was a long distance a year back. And now suddenly felt like nothing matters to her. I was soo invested in her for nothing. A year worth of spending time together was nothing And that to If she were to breakup on a normal time when I was in a normal state of mind I would have processed it better. But she brokeup when I was at my lowest point in my life. She said she would be there for me as a friend and whenever I need to share Something she would be there.
I tried talking her after when I felt low. But it was just dry conversation almost like she's ghosting me. Yesterday she said she can't talk to me this frequent ( we used to talk twice a week) as she's very busy with her work. .
I had some of my stuff left at her place went to collect it, reached to her place after driving for 2 hours and she lived at 3rd floor she brought my stuff down at the main gate of the building. Didn't let me in or asked how am I doing or anything.
Sometimes I just feel she was using me for groceries lol. And maybe someone to pay the bills at fancy places.
2023.06.03 12:30 Baron_Deathtrap1217 [FN] Era Vulgaris
A story I wrote a while back. (To put it more accurately, a year ago.) Submitted it for the college Magazine, and recently uploaded it to Wattpad. But it didn't do much. So I decided to just put it on here. Any kind of feedback would be appreciated.
Being the idiot I am, I'm not sure what genre to place it in. But I'd say it's an action - drama in a somewhat fantastical setting.
The Blurb is as follows:
"Undera night sky lit by two moons, a Witch loses her family, and begins to succumb to the dark, violent side of her powers - Bloodlust.
During this desparate struggle, she comes across a Bishop - a soldier of this city, whose sole purpose is to kill her kind.
Who is this Bishop? Will the Witch survive? And who am I, the being who wants to share this story with you??"
And here's the full story. I hope you enjoy.
Oh, what a beautiful night.
The two moons in an elaborate dance, one in the arms of the other as they glow amidst the darkness. Wouldn't it be a heartbreak, for the king to abandon his queen at the brink of dawn, leaving her alone and defenseless?
Of course, my king already had. Even worse, he might've even let the hunters on my tail. Just the thought sent shudders through my spine. My dear melancholy, I thought, you won't be here for long. "I've cried with you far too long. Perhaps I should send you with my lover, let his blood wrap around you while you sleep. Perhaps I should let his cries wash away all that you weep."
I wanted answers. But, a deeper, more primal part of me needed revenge. But if I wanted either, I needed to act fast. I was being hunted. The people of this world, they call us witches. They call us the spawn of the devil, to be hunted and burned alive. I know this isn't true, I remember my parents' faces as clear as day. Damn it, I wish I just had a normal life. I wanted peace, quiet. I wanted a happy life with my husband.
"You are desecrated by the demon himself!"
"Get out of my sight! Begone!"
The memory of Anton's words, curled in utter disgust.... They hurt. Once, long before this, I could almost see the smile on his face, taste the uninhibited love in his gaze, feel the steady warmth of his embrace...... And now... Why? Why, you.......... Why?
The question turned into a haunting melody, trying to tear its way through my skull with a violent cacophony, only to fade into a whisper drumming in sync with my footsteps, as I tracked him down through the shadows. Was he the answer?
Or just prey? A rat to devour?
That thought worried me. No, I-I didn't want to hurt Anton, but.... But he had done the same, was still doing the same. The streets were quiet, the houses all around closed shut. No doubt, there were hunters, the Bishops, tracking me down. But I had become accustomed to sneaking around without leaving a trace.
I wished, sometimes I could be one of those lucky women hiding in those houses, with nothing to fear but the outside. They could just stay in their homes and live the lives they wanted.
But, the increasingly manic voice from within spoke, you had that. For a while. How long did it even last, until he kicked you out and left you for dead?
My footsteps quickened seemingly running towards my prey. Or maybe, away from whispers that were becoming hard to deny. And then, I found him. Right there, in the darkness, all alone.
Ready to speak.
Or to die.
And all of a sudden, I felt my knife slide home. Blood, sweet and magnificent, rose in the air. Every cell in my body rose towards it, parched for a taste.
Just a taste.
I stumbled under the ferocity of the thirst, my will pushed to its limit to keep it under control. His life was fading out.
I had to... I had to look him in the eye. I turned him around, and it wasn't him. It wasn't him.
Oh god, it wasn't him.
It wasn't him it wasn't him it wasn't----------
"Ophelia, what the heck have you become?"
I slowly turned towards the source of the sound, knowing the horror on his face I'd be forced to see. There it was, but somewhere in the miasma of repulsive emotions.... Was it concern? Did my dear Anton still care? Did he still... still love?
Something fell on my thigh, soft, and warm, disappearing seeping through my dirtied clothes the moment it touched. And it was then I realized - it was blood. It was all over me, across my lips, on my hands, seeping into my fingernails. It was overwhelming me, wrenching sense and sanity away. Was it too late? Was I past the point of no retu------
The next moment, I realize I'm.... falling. Further and further, but I can't find the floor. I can't feel my legs, my arms, my mouth. It's as if every part of me except my soul has disintegrated, vanished into thin air. I look around me. There are so many like me. Witches, humans, the faceless, the feral. The victim and the criminal. They are all the same. WE are one and the same. I don't feel my consciousness fading away, but rather.... It bleeds, it swims around like a drop in an ocean, a single grain of pollen among thousand others flying away. It's coming all together now, fusing and joining and mixing with the others, and into the will of one great being. It's like..... Like the God accepting us into His womb, letting us be a part of His plan, and giving us one last gift- vision, His vision, to see the world as it really is............. And the ones we left behind in this world.
The process seems so painful - I can feel emotions that aren't my own, emanating from within me, while my own emotions are scattered over this pool of collective consciousness. It swirls and splashes around, slowly moving towards a source, rather than away. The closer I get, the lesser I remember about myself. I'd be concerned, unhappy even, weren't it not for the fact that along with myself, I could also feel myself forgetting the world I had lived in like an insect, while I dance around in the memories of others. It's all mine, and what's mine is also others'. There isn't an "I" anymore. There's just...... An ocean. An ocean of serenity. A desert, devoid of pain and suffering. An oasis of peace.
Just......Anton. Look after him, my Savior. And my----------------------
-Era Vulgaris-
Ah...... Another dead one coalescing into me. A woman, full of hopes and dreams soaked and squandered away by sorrow and hatred and envy. Don't fret, little one. You can rest now. Be in peace with yourself, and this broken world. Now, where were we? Ah, the woman finally lost it.
Her self-consciousness faded away the very moment that drop of blood dripped onto her tongue. What was left, was a husk of its former self, hungry for blood and power. I hated watching this, though I'd seen this a million times over. Even the part of me that was once that poor girl was undoubtedly horrified at what she'd become. It's okay, it's okay. It'll work out in the end. Trust me. Your loved ones shall come out whole from the other side.
Especially, I thought, if the Bishop beside him is truly who I think he is.
The word "Bishop" brought a bit of warranted concern to the residual piece of the girl, which meant I had to spend some more of my energy and attention to calm her down. So, I thought. Where were we?
The husk of the woman lunged for her former lover, only to be denied her prey by a sudden tackle to the ground. The assailant swiftly rolled out of harm's way, spinning around and aiming a rather large revolver right at her head.
"Freeze. Or the bullet goes in your head."
She didn't respond in kind. Instead, she... It. It, reminded the small voice that was once part of her, now just in pure disbelief at what she was looking at. It looked him dead in the eye, wailed its vocal cords out and slit its own arm, letting the blood spurt open all around her. The dead carcass beside her became her fuel, swimming towards and into heIt, as its own blood slowly morphed into clones of its own. All contorted and manic, just like the original. All at once, they converged right at the hunter, eager to churn out the flesh. One sneaky little figure, however, sneaked right out of sight and right towards its/ her husband.
Yeah, it was her husband alright. All these bright little memories sparkling from within the dark, right up until everything tore apart- Wait. Oh n-
A hailstorm of gunshots shattered the rain of noise that drenched the night. And just like that, almost all the clones were gone, fading into a cloudburst of blood from which they had risen. The husband, Anton, screamed, "The blood- it'll burn!!" But the hunter rushed through regardless, through the blood.
True to his word, the blood began to boil and corrode away all the protective plates and clothing, but the man himself was strangely unaffected. Rather, he became seemingly faster, as he kicked away the witch, the original form out, just a mere fraction of a second before it could rip out Anton's jugular. My heart was in my throat. Or at least, the newly assimilated soul felt that way.
I was more interested to as to how the Bishop appeared to have changed, as if a limiter on himself had been removed by the blood. As if a blind man had finally been given the path towards light.
By the time it could recover, the Bishop held the previous position once again- only this time, aiming at the creature's belly. That, is what I was worried about. The poor woman was pregnant when she lost control. "Now," he said. "Don't move."
The woman's soul suddenly began to wrench its way out towards her body, trying desperately to save its offspring, its child. Its only ray of hope. It took a considerable effort to keep her in control, much more than what I would once require. Well, I thought, all the more reason to let things go as they should.
Anton went to protect the thing that was once his wife, right up until the Bishop changed his aim towards him.
Anton paled, but understood the message. He returned to his previous position, his crosshairs pointed right at the woman's swollen abdomen, and waited for her to react.
She didn't.
She stilled, almost stuck between her primal urge as a creature of blood, and a maternal urge as a creature of warmth.
The hesitation was enough for the hunter to make a decision.
"Rest in peace."
The gun fired.
A single bullet exploded into a hundred smaller shells, penetrating the witch - not at the abdomen, but straight through the head. The man beside him just puked at the gruesome scene, unable to bear not just the brutality, but the heartbreak of it.
The hunter turned towards him. "Put yourself together. Besides, you put her in this situation."
The remark halted Anton from his state of disgust into a fit of near-violent rage.
"What? What the fuck do you know, you lowlife? You're the ones who kill innocent women for just the smallest suspicion of their nature. You fucker! Die in the womb you lived in you-"But, he couldn't hold on to it. Just couldn't.
Anton broke into tears, his guilt, his pain and his loss flowing down his face and falling at the cold ground below him.
It--It wasn't a nice sight to see. He cried, and cried, and cried, sometimes in reminiscence of the small moments that he'd shared with his loved one, sometimes in despair of the things he'd done. He could blame all he could, curse all he could. At the world. At hunters. At God. Even himself, but that would not bring his love back to life. It wouldn't bring his unbor---
A tiny, yet strong innocent wail interrupted his downward spiral.
"Anton. Your child." With that brief phrase, the Bishop laid a fragile infant in his arms. Crying, with hair barely formed, yet Anton could see it- It was her child. Her and his. THEIR child. But......
"IT's- It's a girl. Won't you-"
"Well, I think it would be rude of me not to turn a blind eye your way. I cannot see, after all. Besides, I think this child deserves a chance. For the mother who, in the throes of death, chose her child over revenge. And," he said, patting down the man's shoulder, "the pathetic man who still wanted to save his wife, even if she was no more. Now go. Get the fuck out of here. I gotta pick up the corpse and collect my payment. Oh, and, uh... What happened here, all of it- you don't remember a thing. Got it?"
He didn't need even the slightest of threats. The guy thanked the Bishop and, with the now smiling babe, walked away.
Another figure appeared from behind the hunter.
"Was that a good decision, Navy?"
A Faceless one. Quite devoted to the Bishop. His question held a tone of concern, but a sense of curiosity dominated his voice as he asked his question.
"Grayson," he said, placing his shotgun onto the floor as a walking stick, "I never overthi-"
"Shut up."
A careless shrug. "Alright. You got me. You want me to be honest? I.....see myself, as weird as it sounds. In that child, in that man. Even in the fuckin' witches. I kill them for a living, Gray. I wake up every morning to load a bullet carrying their name."
"You hate them. Simple as that."
"But a really small part of me..... It- I don't know, Gray. Sometimes all I do is say thanks to this stupid world we live in. A world where everyone wants to fall in love but there's no room for it, in the grand scheme of things. You know, it's times like these that make me glad. Better off believing in a dream world of love and peace, rather than knowing this nightmare of an era. An Era Vulgaris, if you will."
Indeed, in this we might just be kindred spirits. Hm... well, there's definitely a potential in him, to become what I need him to be in the future. I just.....
Well, I'll let this run its course.
After all, it depends on whether she can will herself a future worth salvaging. For there was another one spying on the hunter, another witch whose paths would cross with his. And that path would either fall in place like clockwork, or blow up every plan and contingency I'd made into smoke.
Till then, I guess it best to rest. Kick back and watch this Era Vulgaris consume itself in its vanity, and see if something will come out whole the other side. Rest well, Navidson.
And thank you.
Something settled, and that's when I realized the woman's soul had finally accepted its fate, fading into the primordial soup. Broken, scared and all bled out, and yet she put up a hell of a fight.
The human will is quite extraordinary, is it not?
submitted by Baron_Deathtrap1217 to shortstories [link] [comments]
Being the idiot I am, I'm not sure what genre to place it in. But I'd say it's an action - drama in a somewhat fantastical setting.
The Blurb is as follows:
"Undera night sky lit by two moons, a Witch loses her family, and begins to succumb to the dark, violent side of her powers - Bloodlust.
During this desparate struggle, she comes across a Bishop - a soldier of this city, whose sole purpose is to kill her kind.
Who is this Bishop? Will the Witch survive? And who am I, the being who wants to share this story with you??"
And here's the full story. I hope you enjoy.
Oh, what a beautiful night.
The two moons in an elaborate dance, one in the arms of the other as they glow amidst the darkness. Wouldn't it be a heartbreak, for the king to abandon his queen at the brink of dawn, leaving her alone and defenseless?
Of course, my king already had. Even worse, he might've even let the hunters on my tail. Just the thought sent shudders through my spine. My dear melancholy, I thought, you won't be here for long. "I've cried with you far too long. Perhaps I should send you with my lover, let his blood wrap around you while you sleep. Perhaps I should let his cries wash away all that you weep."
I wanted answers. But, a deeper, more primal part of me needed revenge. But if I wanted either, I needed to act fast. I was being hunted. The people of this world, they call us witches. They call us the spawn of the devil, to be hunted and burned alive. I know this isn't true, I remember my parents' faces as clear as day. Damn it, I wish I just had a normal life. I wanted peace, quiet. I wanted a happy life with my husband.
"You are desecrated by the demon himself!"
"Get out of my sight! Begone!"
The memory of Anton's words, curled in utter disgust.... They hurt. Once, long before this, I could almost see the smile on his face, taste the uninhibited love in his gaze, feel the steady warmth of his embrace...... And now... Why? Why, you.......... Why?
The question turned into a haunting melody, trying to tear its way through my skull with a violent cacophony, only to fade into a whisper drumming in sync with my footsteps, as I tracked him down through the shadows. Was he the answer?
Or just prey? A rat to devour?
That thought worried me. No, I-I didn't want to hurt Anton, but.... But he had done the same, was still doing the same. The streets were quiet, the houses all around closed shut. No doubt, there were hunters, the Bishops, tracking me down. But I had become accustomed to sneaking around without leaving a trace.
I wished, sometimes I could be one of those lucky women hiding in those houses, with nothing to fear but the outside. They could just stay in their homes and live the lives they wanted.
But, the increasingly manic voice from within spoke, you had that. For a while. How long did it even last, until he kicked you out and left you for dead?
My footsteps quickened seemingly running towards my prey. Or maybe, away from whispers that were becoming hard to deny. And then, I found him. Right there, in the darkness, all alone.
Ready to speak.
Or to die.
And all of a sudden, I felt my knife slide home. Blood, sweet and magnificent, rose in the air. Every cell in my body rose towards it, parched for a taste.
Just a taste.
I stumbled under the ferocity of the thirst, my will pushed to its limit to keep it under control. His life was fading out.
I had to... I had to look him in the eye. I turned him around, and it wasn't him. It wasn't him.
Oh god, it wasn't him.
It wasn't him it wasn't him it wasn't----------
"Ophelia, what the heck have you become?"
I slowly turned towards the source of the sound, knowing the horror on his face I'd be forced to see. There it was, but somewhere in the miasma of repulsive emotions.... Was it concern? Did my dear Anton still care? Did he still... still love?
Something fell on my thigh, soft, and warm, disappearing seeping through my dirtied clothes the moment it touched. And it was then I realized - it was blood. It was all over me, across my lips, on my hands, seeping into my fingernails. It was overwhelming me, wrenching sense and sanity away. Was it too late? Was I past the point of no retu------
The next moment, I realize I'm.... falling. Further and further, but I can't find the floor. I can't feel my legs, my arms, my mouth. It's as if every part of me except my soul has disintegrated, vanished into thin air. I look around me. There are so many like me. Witches, humans, the faceless, the feral. The victim and the criminal. They are all the same. WE are one and the same. I don't feel my consciousness fading away, but rather.... It bleeds, it swims around like a drop in an ocean, a single grain of pollen among thousand others flying away. It's coming all together now, fusing and joining and mixing with the others, and into the will of one great being. It's like..... Like the God accepting us into His womb, letting us be a part of His plan, and giving us one last gift- vision, His vision, to see the world as it really is............. And the ones we left behind in this world.
The process seems so painful - I can feel emotions that aren't my own, emanating from within me, while my own emotions are scattered over this pool of collective consciousness. It swirls and splashes around, slowly moving towards a source, rather than away. The closer I get, the lesser I remember about myself. I'd be concerned, unhappy even, weren't it not for the fact that along with myself, I could also feel myself forgetting the world I had lived in like an insect, while I dance around in the memories of others. It's all mine, and what's mine is also others'. There isn't an "I" anymore. There's just...... An ocean. An ocean of serenity. A desert, devoid of pain and suffering. An oasis of peace.
Just......Anton. Look after him, my Savior. And my----------------------
-Era Vulgaris-
Ah...... Another dead one coalescing into me. A woman, full of hopes and dreams soaked and squandered away by sorrow and hatred and envy. Don't fret, little one. You can rest now. Be in peace with yourself, and this broken world. Now, where were we? Ah, the woman finally lost it.
Her self-consciousness faded away the very moment that drop of blood dripped onto her tongue. What was left, was a husk of its former self, hungry for blood and power. I hated watching this, though I'd seen this a million times over. Even the part of me that was once that poor girl was undoubtedly horrified at what she'd become. It's okay, it's okay. It'll work out in the end. Trust me. Your loved ones shall come out whole from the other side.
Especially, I thought, if the Bishop beside him is truly who I think he is.
The word "Bishop" brought a bit of warranted concern to the residual piece of the girl, which meant I had to spend some more of my energy and attention to calm her down. So, I thought. Where were we?
The husk of the woman lunged for her former lover, only to be denied her prey by a sudden tackle to the ground. The assailant swiftly rolled out of harm's way, spinning around and aiming a rather large revolver right at her head.
"Freeze. Or the bullet goes in your head."
She didn't respond in kind. Instead, she... It. It, reminded the small voice that was once part of her, now just in pure disbelief at what she was looking at. It looked him dead in the eye, wailed its vocal cords out and slit its own arm, letting the blood spurt open all around her. The dead carcass beside her became her fuel, swimming towards and into heIt, as its own blood slowly morphed into clones of its own. All contorted and manic, just like the original. All at once, they converged right at the hunter, eager to churn out the flesh. One sneaky little figure, however, sneaked right out of sight and right towards its/ her husband.
Yeah, it was her husband alright. All these bright little memories sparkling from within the dark, right up until everything tore apart- Wait. Oh n-
A hailstorm of gunshots shattered the rain of noise that drenched the night. And just like that, almost all the clones were gone, fading into a cloudburst of blood from which they had risen. The husband, Anton, screamed, "The blood- it'll burn!!" But the hunter rushed through regardless, through the blood.
True to his word, the blood began to boil and corrode away all the protective plates and clothing, but the man himself was strangely unaffected. Rather, he became seemingly faster, as he kicked away the witch, the original form out, just a mere fraction of a second before it could rip out Anton's jugular. My heart was in my throat. Or at least, the newly assimilated soul felt that way.
I was more interested to as to how the Bishop appeared to have changed, as if a limiter on himself had been removed by the blood. As if a blind man had finally been given the path towards light.
By the time it could recover, the Bishop held the previous position once again- only this time, aiming at the creature's belly. That, is what I was worried about. The poor woman was pregnant when she lost control. "Now," he said. "Don't move."
The woman's soul suddenly began to wrench its way out towards her body, trying desperately to save its offspring, its child. Its only ray of hope. It took a considerable effort to keep her in control, much more than what I would once require. Well, I thought, all the more reason to let things go as they should.
Anton went to protect the thing that was once his wife, right up until the Bishop changed his aim towards him.
Anton paled, but understood the message. He returned to his previous position, his crosshairs pointed right at the woman's swollen abdomen, and waited for her to react.
She didn't.
She stilled, almost stuck between her primal urge as a creature of blood, and a maternal urge as a creature of warmth.
The hesitation was enough for the hunter to make a decision.
"Rest in peace."
The gun fired.
A single bullet exploded into a hundred smaller shells, penetrating the witch - not at the abdomen, but straight through the head. The man beside him just puked at the gruesome scene, unable to bear not just the brutality, but the heartbreak of it.
The hunter turned towards him. "Put yourself together. Besides, you put her in this situation."
The remark halted Anton from his state of disgust into a fit of near-violent rage.
"What? What the fuck do you know, you lowlife? You're the ones who kill innocent women for just the smallest suspicion of their nature. You fucker! Die in the womb you lived in you-"But, he couldn't hold on to it. Just couldn't.
Anton broke into tears, his guilt, his pain and his loss flowing down his face and falling at the cold ground below him.
It--It wasn't a nice sight to see. He cried, and cried, and cried, sometimes in reminiscence of the small moments that he'd shared with his loved one, sometimes in despair of the things he'd done. He could blame all he could, curse all he could. At the world. At hunters. At God. Even himself, but that would not bring his love back to life. It wouldn't bring his unbor---
A tiny, yet strong innocent wail interrupted his downward spiral.
"Anton. Your child." With that brief phrase, the Bishop laid a fragile infant in his arms. Crying, with hair barely formed, yet Anton could see it- It was her child. Her and his. THEIR child. But......
"IT's- It's a girl. Won't you-"
"Well, I think it would be rude of me not to turn a blind eye your way. I cannot see, after all. Besides, I think this child deserves a chance. For the mother who, in the throes of death, chose her child over revenge. And," he said, patting down the man's shoulder, "the pathetic man who still wanted to save his wife, even if she was no more. Now go. Get the fuck out of here. I gotta pick up the corpse and collect my payment. Oh, and, uh... What happened here, all of it- you don't remember a thing. Got it?"
He didn't need even the slightest of threats. The guy thanked the Bishop and, with the now smiling babe, walked away.
Another figure appeared from behind the hunter.
"Was that a good decision, Navy?"
A Faceless one. Quite devoted to the Bishop. His question held a tone of concern, but a sense of curiosity dominated his voice as he asked his question.
"Grayson," he said, placing his shotgun onto the floor as a walking stick, "I never overthi-"
"Shut up."
A careless shrug. "Alright. You got me. You want me to be honest? I.....see myself, as weird as it sounds. In that child, in that man. Even in the fuckin' witches. I kill them for a living, Gray. I wake up every morning to load a bullet carrying their name."
"You hate them. Simple as that."
"But a really small part of me..... It- I don't know, Gray. Sometimes all I do is say thanks to this stupid world we live in. A world where everyone wants to fall in love but there's no room for it, in the grand scheme of things. You know, it's times like these that make me glad. Better off believing in a dream world of love and peace, rather than knowing this nightmare of an era. An Era Vulgaris, if you will."
Indeed, in this we might just be kindred spirits. Hm... well, there's definitely a potential in him, to become what I need him to be in the future. I just.....
Well, I'll let this run its course.
After all, it depends on whether she can will herself a future worth salvaging. For there was another one spying on the hunter, another witch whose paths would cross with his. And that path would either fall in place like clockwork, or blow up every plan and contingency I'd made into smoke.
Till then, I guess it best to rest. Kick back and watch this Era Vulgaris consume itself in its vanity, and see if something will come out whole the other side. Rest well, Navidson.
And thank you.
Something settled, and that's when I realized the woman's soul had finally accepted its fate, fading into the primordial soup. Broken, scared and all bled out, and yet she put up a hell of a fight.
The human will is quite extraordinary, is it not?
2023.06.03 12:30 ImLxst444 Another post about depression or some shit
I keep seeing things mentioned about people wanting to create music, and about how they wish they could be as creative as Travis and shit, so I just kinda wanna make a post about the negative sides of making music, the side no one really talks about. Unless you're interested in reading the ramblings of some random dude on the internet about something the majority of you likely won't relate to, just skip this post. Also my apologies if this doesn't really flow the smoothest, I didn't write these paragraphs in order since I kept deleting them and going back and reworking then completely.
Even though everyone's different I will speak on my own personal experience with dedication to creating music, I'm only 19 but I'm totally like hooked into it, I've always enjoyed the process of creation and growth but it feels like the more I improve and the more i progress I just begin to feel even emptier. I wouldn't consider myself extraordinary but for being completely self taught and independent I feel like I'm doing pretty well, but the fucked part is I'm at the point where I realized I could be the most successful and revolutionary artist in the game but the second I turn my computer off all of that progress just ceases to exist anymore because all of that success isn't mine, it's my music personas, the real fleshy me is still a nobody.
It has given me extreme identity issues. I graduated 11 months ago and since then I haven't existed as a person, all my time and energy has been dumped into music, I'm over here throwing away my golden years by making beats and spitting into a microphone.
From sunrise to sunset all I do is either make music, listen to music, research music, and think about music. I have the fucking knowledge of a 50 year old I've put so much time into this.
Haze of interference by bedwetter "I'm standing by a microphone, I'm yelling at a wall, pick a thousand names you're still nobody at all" those final few lines resonated with me on a very personal level when I first heard them because it's true, you invest so much of your life into this shit and for what?
I'm a rather decent producer, an amazing engineer (mixing mastering) and a decent writevocalist, but no matter what there's never this point where I feel like it's enough, there's always something that can be improved or done better.
My mental health is also just shit in general I can't go an hour without having suicidal thoughts, when I was 17 I took an ungodly amount of pills to kill myself which resulted in seizures and temporarily stopped my heart. When I arrived at the hospital I full on described my mental situation which is something I've never done and haven't done since. The doctor asked me 2 questions 1. Are you going to kill yourself when you get home? I said not immediately but maybe another day. 2. Are you going to hurt anyone? Absolutely not, I'm one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet :/ The doctor then just sent me home?? I tried to ask for therapy or anything that would at least give me the opportunity to get professional help and I didn't get shit. The only reason I haven't truly committed is because I'm afraid of doing it in a way that wouldn't 100% guarantee death. If I had a gun it would've been lights out a long time ago, and that's not even a debate. I don't fear death, I fear the process of dying, it's painful scary and pathetic.
I've posted nearly 3 hours of decent music since I've started releasing (march 2022) all of it was written and mixed by me, the majority of it was also produced by me, I've gotten thousands upon thousands of plays in total which is decent for someone so new and absolutely no promotions, but it just leaves me feeling like my whole existence is nothing more than a Instagram account and a SoundCloud page.
I've retired temporarily and semi rebranded just so I can try to actually make unique and experimental music instead of the rather played out raw emo cloud rap music I've been making.
I always feel bad for people that want to get into music because it's such a life consuming process if you actually plan on trying to become something worth mentioning, and again I'm only 19 and I feel like this so I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it would feel 20 years from now.
submitted by ImLxst444 to liluglymane [link] [comments]
Even though everyone's different I will speak on my own personal experience with dedication to creating music, I'm only 19 but I'm totally like hooked into it, I've always enjoyed the process of creation and growth but it feels like the more I improve and the more i progress I just begin to feel even emptier. I wouldn't consider myself extraordinary but for being completely self taught and independent I feel like I'm doing pretty well, but the fucked part is I'm at the point where I realized I could be the most successful and revolutionary artist in the game but the second I turn my computer off all of that progress just ceases to exist anymore because all of that success isn't mine, it's my music personas, the real fleshy me is still a nobody.
It has given me extreme identity issues. I graduated 11 months ago and since then I haven't existed as a person, all my time and energy has been dumped into music, I'm over here throwing away my golden years by making beats and spitting into a microphone.
From sunrise to sunset all I do is either make music, listen to music, research music, and think about music. I have the fucking knowledge of a 50 year old I've put so much time into this.
Haze of interference by bedwetter "I'm standing by a microphone, I'm yelling at a wall, pick a thousand names you're still nobody at all" those final few lines resonated with me on a very personal level when I first heard them because it's true, you invest so much of your life into this shit and for what?
I'm a rather decent producer, an amazing engineer (mixing mastering) and a decent writevocalist, but no matter what there's never this point where I feel like it's enough, there's always something that can be improved or done better.
My mental health is also just shit in general I can't go an hour without having suicidal thoughts, when I was 17 I took an ungodly amount of pills to kill myself which resulted in seizures and temporarily stopped my heart. When I arrived at the hospital I full on described my mental situation which is something I've never done and haven't done since. The doctor asked me 2 questions 1. Are you going to kill yourself when you get home? I said not immediately but maybe another day. 2. Are you going to hurt anyone? Absolutely not, I'm one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet :/ The doctor then just sent me home?? I tried to ask for therapy or anything that would at least give me the opportunity to get professional help and I didn't get shit. The only reason I haven't truly committed is because I'm afraid of doing it in a way that wouldn't 100% guarantee death. If I had a gun it would've been lights out a long time ago, and that's not even a debate. I don't fear death, I fear the process of dying, it's painful scary and pathetic.
I've posted nearly 3 hours of decent music since I've started releasing (march 2022) all of it was written and mixed by me, the majority of it was also produced by me, I've gotten thousands upon thousands of plays in total which is decent for someone so new and absolutely no promotions, but it just leaves me feeling like my whole existence is nothing more than a Instagram account and a SoundCloud page.
I've retired temporarily and semi rebranded just so I can try to actually make unique and experimental music instead of the rather played out raw emo cloud rap music I've been making.
I always feel bad for people that want to get into music because it's such a life consuming process if you actually plan on trying to become something worth mentioning, and again I'm only 19 and I feel like this so I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it would feel 20 years from now.
2023.06.03 12:27 throwawaycotpp A guy at the club told me that I should shower and it’s affecting my selfesteem
I am a very clean person. I shower almost three times a day. I make sure I’m super clean. whenever I sweat I shower. I wear antiperspirant. I even use deodorant wipes after showering every once in a while to make sure I don’t have any body odor. People always tell me I smell good but I’ve always made sure that I’m clean. Tonight at the club a guy was trying to dance with me and whatnot but I did not really give him much attention. He started talking to my sister and that’s when he realized that we were actually sisters. He then told my sister that “your sister needs to shower” and I overheard him. keep in mind that before going to the club I actually showered. I don’t wear clothes that haven’t been washed or stink at all (I don’t think I do). My sister told me that he said that to try to lower my self esteem and to ruin our night.
I can’t help but feel like I did have body odor. Why would anyone be so rude to a stranger if they didn’t actually feel that type of way? My friend was also there and she agreed with my sister. I even went to the restroom took off all my clothes at tried to at least smell if there was something off but there wasn’t. Is this something that guys do? So they try to lower your self esteem just to ruin your night?
Edit: it’s the end of the night and apparently three guys got my sister’s number to ask her about my number and to talk to me. I’m so confused on why that guy said that.
submitted by throwawaycotpp to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I can’t help but feel like I did have body odor. Why would anyone be so rude to a stranger if they didn’t actually feel that type of way? My friend was also there and she agreed with my sister. I even went to the restroom took off all my clothes at tried to at least smell if there was something off but there wasn’t. Is this something that guys do? So they try to lower your self esteem just to ruin your night?
Edit: it’s the end of the night and apparently three guys got my sister’s number to ask her about my number and to talk to me. I’m so confused on why that guy said that.
2023.06.03 12:27 clementheng Double bed Lady Room
 | Clement 60162202886 submitted by clementheng to u/clementheng [link] [comments] Whatsapp: https://appoin.me/clement_m0G5 Room Detail: https://appoin.me/rooms_1VgMB Uniqueness of this room n house 1) 5 min walk to UCSI uni 2) 2 min walk to LRT/ MRT bus station, banks, shops n restaurants. 3) CCTV for safety n cleaniless 4) Spacious Sky Garden 5) WiFi 300 mbps 6) Solar Heater. 7) Water Dispenser : Hot n Cold 8) All local Chinese Students with majority females. 9) Fire Extinguisher in every floor 10) Newly n fully renovated house n rooms. 11) Modern n full cooking facilities n washing machine. 12) Fully furnished rooms with wardrobe, bed, mattress, table n chair. 13) Rental inclusive of all utilities, wifi, repair n maintenaice except room eletricity. 14) Super Safe, Comfortable and Clean. ... |