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2021.10.11 18:17 fastfoodnearme foodnearme

food near me 6ixotics https://6ixotics.com
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2010.03.14 05:35 ricewine slice, dice and combine it with rice!

Welcome to our rice-centric subreddit, where rice is always nice! From sushi to pilaf, we've got it all covered. Share your favorite rice dishes, ask for cooking advice, or simply chat with fellow rice lovers. Whether you're a seasoned chef or a novice home cook, our community is the perfect place to rice up your life. (Generated by ChatGPT)
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2012.04.27 02:28 EnoughLibertarianSpam: Aleppo Information Station

No brigading. View the "Critiques of Libertarianism" page here: http://critiques.us/index.php?title=Critiques_Of_Libertarianism Sick of all the conspiracy theories, racism, anti-Semitism and general douchebaggery of libertarians? You are not alone! Award for most Liberty AND Freedom out of Any Political Subreddit on Reddit- Ron Paul Bravery Award 2013
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2023.03.30 02:44 Beneficial-Step4403 How can BF and I hang out with my parents without having to go to their house?

My BF (24M) and I (22F) have been together for almost two years. We really love each other. We want to get married in the future, kids, house, the whole nine yards.
The only problem is, until recently I thought he and my parents got along decently but I found out that just isn’t true. I live only 45 minutes to an hour from my parents and try to make time once a month to visit their home (my childhood home). It’s important to me that my BF and my parents are not necessarily besties, but can get on well, so I always invite him to come with me. Until now, his accept to decline ratio was 2:5.
Whenever we go see my parents, we’re expected to do all of the social heavy lifting because of their seniority. When we come, I have a key so I let us in, we have to go find my dad usually in the family room or his office and talk to him, and then my mom is usually in a different room cooking, cleaning, or answering emails so we have to talk to her as she’s doing all these things and meander back and forth between them until we’re ready to leave. This is to make sure both parents feel like they’ve been given ample amounts of attention. My parents are happily married by the way this is just how their house is on a given afternoon now that they’re empty nesters. And they know we’re coming because we always pre-discuss a time. I also am embarrassed to admit there have been multiple occasions where we agree to visit them at X:00pm and we arrive to an empty house because they went out to run errands and didn’t make it back in time for our arrival.
Visiting my BF’s parents is so different. When we go, his mom opens the door for us, she already has snacks or food made, and she spends the entire visit giving us her undivided attention either talking to us or playing a board game or even just watching football.
Because of this, my boyfriend doesn’t feel like an invited guest when we go to their house, but more like a burden. He says my parents actions and body language throughout our visits signal to him that they clearly had better things to do than to host him which makes him wonder why he bothered to come and spend time with them. Their behavior had been this way since I moved out (I was single then) so I always kind of took it as normal.
I have tried bringing these things up to my parents and my mom made an effort when we stayed with them for Christmas, but my dad mostly watched TV in a separate room. Now my parents say BF makes them uncomfortable in their own home and they don’t want to have to cater to him every time he comes. They act the exact same way to my brother’s GF, but she’s more extroverted and go with a flow like me and is more likely to just go with it for the sake of keeping the relationship positive. My BF is very reserved and can weather bull crap up to a certain limit like my brother.
The disagreement is mainly about this with other little things, but boyfriend told me he will no longer visit with my parents in their home because there seems to be a clear power play. When we hang out with them outside of the home, they adhere to social cues more and they have a better (but not outrageously great) time together. To be fair to him, I agreed to set this boundary but now I have no idea how to still be able spend time with my parents AND him together especially on holidays. How can I make sure my BF and my parents have a solid cordial relationship and hang out with all my loved ones despite this boundary? All ideas are welcome.
tl:dr: bf no longer wants to visit my parents at their home because he's uncomfortable with their hosting technique. My parents feel that my boyfriend should be able to go with the flow and that catering to him is not their job and makes them feel uncomfortable in their own home. Need advice on how to still foster a cordial relationship between them and also ideas for getting through the holidays.
submitted by Beneficial-Step4403 to relationships [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:44 Heavy_Goal_8698 Lost girl

Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.
submitted by Heavy_Goal_8698 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:43 Heavy_Goal_8698 Lost girl

Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.
submitted by Heavy_Goal_8698 to HardcoreChildAbuse [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:43 CliffTruxton The Incidents at the Spreckels Mansion: Hypothesis One

There are two main sides when it comes to the death of Rebecca Zahau: Rebecca's family, and the Shacknai family (as well as the Sheriff's department). I'd like to give each argument its own space so we can look at them closely. In this entry we'll begin with the case advanced by attorneys on behalf of Rebecca's family.
Before diving in, though, I'd like to say something: This is an incredibly weird case. The core question is "what exactly happened here?" and neither of the two most prominent hypotheses explain it adequately. So I certainly can't blame anyone for not understanding what happened. I can't blame anyone for wanting answers.
And while I'm not entirely on board with their assertions about what happened, I want to make it clear here that I do not doubt for a second that Rebecca Zahau's family loves her, and misses her terribly. There is no doubt in my mind that they're coming from a place of just wanting to understand what happened. The purpose of this entry is to examine the claims made by their attorneys. It's not to poke at the family themselves, or to impugn their motives. They looked at something that did not make sense and they tried making sense of it. I can’t blame them for wanting that.
So with that in mind, here's a rundown of some salient points from the arguments presented by their lawyers.
The family insisted Rebecca would not have ended her own life.
This seems to be the backbone of everything else - the idea being that since she couldn't possibly have died by suicide, something else must have happened, and the number of other things that could have happened are limited, and they all involve foul play. But this is a faulty premise. I truly could not even begin to tell you how many times a family has insisted their loved one would never have died by suicide, in the face of overwhelming, airtight evidence to the contrary. This doesn't necessarily mean this was suicide - just that "the family says it couldn't have been" doesn't mean anything one way or the other, unfortunately.
Family retained Dr. Cyril Wecht who concluded she was likely killed by manual strangulation before being hanged & that the scene was staged to look like a hanging. Also the four blows to the head were sufficient to render her "at least partially unconscious."
If you follow true crime much, especially the sensational cases, you probably recognize the name Dr. Cyril Wecht. I think it's generally a good guiding principle to be skeptical of opinions given by experts hired by families of the deceased. It's common for a family to hire an expert to look at (or conduct) an autopsy, and then give an opinion in line with what the family believes. I’m not necessarily suggesting that Dr. Wecht would bias his findings in favor of a particular conclusion; I’m just noting that the family probably wouldn’t retain an expert who didn’t give an opinion that helps their case.
Offer enough money and you can find a credentialed expert who'll interpret the data into something you want to hear. It's a tactic that gets used a lot and this is an example of it. I'm not disagreeing specifically with the content of Wecht's findings in this space, but I am asserting that "an expert retained by the family opined in court that this was consistent with a homicide" does not say much to me about whether or not this was a homicide.
Wecht said injuries to her neck weren't consistent with hanging, since "there would be more significant and catastrophic trauma to her neck if she had been hanged after a nine foot drop."
This is an instance of expert opinion being treated as medical fact, but it's also worth pointing out there's reason to believe she may have gone headfirst over the balcony and may not have actually dropped the full nine feet. But this doesn't necessarily mean someone else did this to her.
A San Diego county jury found Adam Shacknai liable for Rebecca's death in a civil trial.
Yes, because the standard of proof in a civil trial is lower. This data point hinges on a judge opining (accurately) that it's reasonable to ask who killed Rebecca, in light of everything, but this owes more to legal guidelines, and what counts as evidence, than to finding of fact. For example, a key point in the civil trial was that the painted words on the door referred to Rebecca in the third person, but Rebecca had only ever referred to herself in the first person, so there was no evidence indicating she wrote it. Legal standards of proof are weird sometimes. But reading over the evidence offered at civil trial, I don't think it makes a convincing case in terms of providing a hypothesis likely to explain what happened..
Expert testimony indicated the message was in handwriting more consistent with Adam than Rebecca. (But even their expert, Michael Wakshull, said he could not say that Adam probably painted the words on the door - just that the writing has similar attributes to Adam in his opinion.)
See above, but also please remember the expert in question was retained by the family and was going to say the handwriting looked like Adam's and not Rebecca's no matter what. Given enough knowledge of forensic graphology and a willingness to ignore what forensic graphology is actually for, you can find similarities between nearly any two samples of handwriting.
An expert opined that Adam Shacknai actually failed a polygraph test - one the Sheriff's polygraph examiner had ruled inconclusive.
Again, the expert was retained by the family's attorneys. Also, this pertains to a polygraph test and I really do not put much stock in those - especially because this amounts to quibbling over the results of one. It's grasping at straws.
The family's knot expert testified that the Sheriff's reenactment of a woman tying her own hands behind her back was not consistent with the manner in which Rebecca's hands were tied.
It's an expert retained by the family. This is an interpretive opinion given by someone who was paid to reach that specific conclusion, or they wouldn’t be part of the family’s case. Even the family’s attorneys ultimately agree the knots weren’t complex. Notably, they’re also not attacking the notion of Rebecca having tied her own hands - just that the Sheriff’s department's reenactment in court was not accurate.
Expert testimony that the knots would be familiar to someone with nautical experience, like Adam.
It emerged that Rebecca did some sailing as well. But also the knots were apparently not nearly as complex as they'd been made out to be. Again, this is notably leaving something out. Saying they would be familiar to someone with nautical experience omits any claim about whether or not they’d be familiar to anyone else. And, again, expert testimony is not worth much here.
Expert testimony that the only source of blood at the scene was Rebecca's menstrual discharge, including her blood on all four sides on the handle of a steak knife, indicating Rebecca had been sexually assaulted with the handle of the knife.
Yes. I agree that Rebecca's menstrual blood on all four sides of the handle of a steak knife, with no other cuts and no one else’s blood present, indicate that handle was very likely inserted at some point. But calling it sexual assault is leaping ahead - we haven't even established anyone else was there. We also have not established this happened non-consensually - no indication of trauma or assault were found in Rebecca's autopsy. It wouldn't make much sense if it happened as part of a suicide either, mind you, but that's the whole reason I'm writing this - it doesn’t make sense either way.
Expert testimony that the lack of fingerprints and DNA on doorknobs and the balcony as well as implements used in the crime was consistent with the crime scene being wiped down.
This is sleight of hand. Again, the experts were saying this on the family's dime. Plus, "the crime scene was wiped down" is only one reason there might not be fingerprints or DNA of anyone but Rebecca. There are others. In the interest of fairness, I'll say that another of those reasons might be gloves.
Max's treating doctor had testified that Max's condition was improving at the time Rebecca killed herself.
It's uncontested that Jonah Shacknai says the voicemail he left Rebecca was to inform her that Max's condition had worsened and he would not recover. This happened after he himself received this news. She died after that. I don't know if this data point is just being presented misleadingly but I believe it's incorrect.
Adam testified he had to stand on a table to cut her down, reaching above his head. The family's attorney says that since the rope hung taut, Adam would not have had to stand on a table, and if he'd done so, he would not have had to reach above his head.
This could be notable, certainly, but it does not mean Adam was a murderer. The trial happened well after the incident. Could be a memory issue. It's hard to say. But more than that, it would mean Adam was somehow lying about cutting her down. If so, then why stage this scene at all? Why make it look like he cut her down, and claim he cut her down, if he didn't? What problem would that solve without creating several more?
There’s more, but this brings us to an important point. It’s not just that a hypothesis of murder is poorly supported by evidence - it’s that, of all the possibilities, it’s the least likely by far, because it’s a constant parade of Adam reaching idiosyncratic decisions that make no sense.
First, it requires Adam Shacknai, at least, to have motive to kill Rebecca Zahau, and while I understand this is counterintuitive, I don’t see where he’d have motive here. He certainly might have had reason to be angry at Rebecca for whatever reason, and if she’d been found in almost any other state, I’d probably feel differently. If I heard she’d been found strangled in her bedroom, I’d certainly be looking at the only other person at the house that night who also happened to be a blood relative of Max Shacknai. If she’d vanished entirely and Adam claimed to just have never seen her, sure.
But this? No. By all appearances, she did in fact die from hanging off the balcony and she didn’t have any of the signs of a physical conflict. There were no abrasions from thrashing around while someone tried to strangle her, or bruising from whatever held her still long enough to die. No scuffs on the elbows or knees, no signs of a chase or a fall. No one hit her in the face. If someone killed her out of anger, they were acting remarkably coolheaded. There were rope marks, because she had rope on her, but not the kind of rope burn you might see on someone struggling, someone in fear for her life. In other words, this had none of the signs of violence that typically lead to someone dying during a conflict.
It also requires Adam to take leave of his senses enough to murder someone and not realize it would mean more trouble for his family at a time when they were having to plan the funeral of their little kid. It requires him to not understand this, even though he’d clearly have been doing a lot of thinking and premeditation and whatnot, in order for this crime scene to look the way it did. It’s a classic example of a hypothetical murder who has no consistent motivation and is either an insane idiot or an unflappable super genius, depending on which the theory needs them to be at any given juncture.
Crucially, it would mean someone committed a murder and also went out of their way to generate way more evidence than they strictly needed to. There’d be no need to bind or gag her - it would raise a million more questions than not doing that. There’d be no need to paint anything on the door, or assault her with the handle of a steak knife (somehow, without causing any trauma).
But what finally pushes it over the edge for me is this: If Adam Shacknai had the presence of mind to murder her and arrange this scene, how did it not occur to him at any point that it was the middle of the night, no one knew she was dead, and he had access to a boat? Furthermore, if he did this due to finding out Max wasn’t going to make it, then he knew he had a perfect excuse to take the boat out at midnight. He knew he could say he left the mansion and took the boat out to clear his head and process the grief, or whatever, and as far as he knew, Rebecca was upstairs, and then nobody ever saw her again.
If someone murdered Rebecca Zahau, then that person had to be Adam Shacknai, because no one else entered the house that night. And if that were true, it would mean Adam kept his wits about him enough to stage a crime with evidence that could only hurt him, but it would also mean he somehow did not notice he’d been handed ideal circumstances to get away with a murder. (Truly ideal circumstances would be not to murder anyone at all, but you work with the world you have, not the one you want.) It would also mean that once he was done with this insane staging, he cut her down and called 911. None of it lines up.
I think a lot of the time, a janky hypothesis is somewhere we wind up because we aren’t willing to consider other possibilities. I think an examination of everything all together here makes it unlikely that Adam Shacknai had anything to do with the death of Rebecca Zahau; I disagree with her family that this was a homicide. I respect them as people and wish no sadness upon them but I can only go where facts take me and I can’t agree this was a homicide.
And I didn’t know Rebecca personally so I really don’t know whether or not her family is right about her not being someone who would ever choose to die by suicide.
I don’t feel I have enough information to agree or disagree with her family that she would. But I do agree with them about this:
I don’t think she did.
submitted by CliffTruxton to u/CliffTruxton [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:43 Substance_Distinct how good is the food?

i’m an incoming freshman and i’m also vegetarian. food is rly important to me cuz i’m brown and so i also eat a lot of spicy food. does anyone know how good the food at vandy is? do they have vegetarian friendly options that aren’t just salads? also is there food from different countries cux ik other colleges have like an indian section sometimes. thanks!
submitted by Substance_Distinct to Vanderbilt [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:43 Heavy_Goal_8698 Lost girl

Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.
submitted by Heavy_Goal_8698 to family [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:42 h3coldbrew Weird Request

I have been looking at a 500 Abarth in Indianapolis. The problem is I live in St Louis. I know it's a long shot, but I was wondering if there was anyone here near Indy (Garfield Park more specifically), that would be willing to go check it out and let me know if they think is even worth pursuing. Not looking for a ppi or any guarantee, just an educated eye that could let me know if it's decent, and maybe get a feel for the dealer, they don't have the most glowing reviews. Of you think you could help send me a pm and we can discuss things, including compensation. Thanks.
submitted by h3coldbrew to abarth [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:42 Heavy_Goal_8698 Lost girl

Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.
submitted by Heavy_Goal_8698 to TrueAbuseStories [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:42 ThrowraMike30 She thinks I'm a verbal abuser

My partner today told me that i am a verbal abuser. She had enough and just blurted it out at me. She looked shocked she even said it. My partner and i have been through a rocky patch the last few months. I kind of lost it with her calling her a bunch of names that she was stupid and a retard. I called her a spastic cunt. I do admit, I do have a habit of getting mad and calling her names, It happens and I just dont think. This stemmed off her getting upset cause she had something planned for me and I decided to go elsewhere with a few friends. She has been distant with me ever since. In the last few months we have probably only had sex like 4 times. She wont come near me. I have accused her of cheating and thats the reason she wont come near me. Now she gets upset if I play around with her eg; If i say to her that shes having a longer shower than normal because shes sending nudes to other guys. She gets upset and leaves the room crying eventhough I was only joking and I told her that. I tell her we need to fix things but she dont bother. She doesnt bother with me anymore, I text her telling her we need to get back on track but she just agrees and thats it. Its like theres no point in me even saying anything. She seeked help with a hotline on our relationship, Shes been crying everyday yet I still think this is partially her fault. She says yeah we can get back on track but I feel like she's just saying that so I leave her alone. I've been trying to build her back up by trying to spend time with her, Trying to cuddle her or give her a massage, But she always tenses up. I feel like shes playing around with my feelings, It's like she agrees to things but doesnt really want what she agrees too. Shes taken off her engagement ring and her necklace I got her. I have told her I blame our relationship being fucked mostly because of her distance and how she acts, Which honestly that is what I believe. If it wasnt or her distance we wouldnt be here. Ive tried to build her confidence back up, She doesnt look after herself anymore. She is literally a gorgeous person, Blonde hair, Blue eyes and she was always wanted by many, but now she has let herself go, Doesnt get dressed up or do her makeup anymore.
submitted by ThrowraMike30 to emotionalabuse [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:42 iamerror73 Honest mistake or planned?

So today I decided to order some food, I was feeling nice so decided to splurge on some fairly expensive food and gave a decent tip.
My driver shows up with a big brown bag and hands it to me, I don't look at the receipt because I assume it is my order after all.
As soon as I placed it on the table I noticed that it was wrong, I called the guy back using the app and was told that he had two deliveries and will be right back with mine.
I'm assuming he's just running to his car so I'm waiting outside for 5 minutes with the food, no one shows up.
I call again through the app and I'm told he will be there in less than 10 minutes.
Kind of weird I thought, maybe he had to go back to the other house to grab the order.
45 minutes pass, nothing.
At this point I'm just like screw it I'm hungry and annoyed and start my refund and opened the other food.
How likely is it that the driver was planning on taking my food in the first place?
I noticed that the time on the receipt other food was an hour before he showed up at my house and it is a fast food place that is 10 minutes from my house which was kind of suspicious.
Also doesn't help that they had a fairly low rating compared to most drivers I see on there.
submitted by iamerror73 to UberEATS [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:42 BetweenOceans A Day in the ADHD Life: Unmedicated

TW: Pity Party.
I took l-tyrosine (maybe?) today, drank 3-4 cups of coffee, and almost immediately passed out cold on the couch. Could not keep my eyes open.
I have no groceries, as per usually, so today I mixed millet, milk, cinnamon, maca, protein powder, chlorella and a smoothie powder from my bf's roommate 3 years ago I've been carrying around everywhere. That is breakfast and dinner because I spilled the kale/lentil soup I made last night all over the floor. I also dumped out a bag of popcorn kernels all over the kitchen. My sprouts are all dried out, despite working on them for weeks. My garage, car and phone are broken. I have no job, no friends, no partner, no family, PTSD and my dog hates his food I spent way too much money on, so he's just casually starving himself too. Plants are dying from a lack of watering. No one in the family or my friends will speak to me, specifically because of ADHD tendencies they frown upon (being late, unemployed, lost, etc.).
There are sunflower seeds and mouse droppings all over the floor because vacuuming has been exhausting for a month(?). My laundry isn't done because I'm too overwhelmed to plug in the machines I bought on Craigslist. I'm not even checking my phone or texts anymore. I'm not working out at all, despite every intention, daily, to at least go on a walk.
I'm bathing, sleeping, eating (somehow), cleaning a tiny bit daily, but yeah, I guess every day I expect to wake up not having ADHD, and it's not going away, and my life is disappearing in front of me. It might be getting worse? I'm just a total hermit now because of so much trauma with other people. I'm actually terrified to get another job, so idk what I'm going to do about money. Thank god for food stamps I guess, but this is a little embarrassing isn't it? I'm sad about how much I let go.
Why can't I get it together at all? I'm not going to get married, have kids, have a career, nothing, bc of ADHD? Sigh. And, I'm so unmotivated I'm kind of just like, okay then, as long as no one bothers me or asks me for anything.
submitted by BetweenOceans to adhdwomen [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:42 JustJB7 Shortness of Breath comes and goes. Diazepam side effects or MCAS?

Sorry this is probably a difficult question to answer but I’m just wondering if anyone else has taken Diazepam while they have MCAS and has experienced shortness of breath symptoms. I know Diazepam is used to relieve shortness of breath/anxiety symptoms, but have also read that it can cause respiratory depression. I went into my local A&E/ER one day with shortness of breath (finding it difficult to breath in and out), was given a diazepam and it was kind of like a magic pill and allowed me to breath again for a while. Many of my MCAS symptoms over the last 6+ months have came and gone and some stick around longer than others. For example I had a painful spleen during a certain period which came and went (there’s many other examples too.)
I figured the diazepam was good because it helped relieve the shortness of breath symptoms (or at least I thought), I no longer had panic attacks and it also helps MASSIVELY with my insomnia. I also for the first week took 3 per day as I knew I could withdraw from alcohol safely this way & knew that was the way to do it. Now I only take 1 or 2 a night before bed just for my insomnia. My shortness of breath symptoms have stuck around the whole time while being on this diazepam, the one or two I take before bed as I say allow me to sleep but the following day during certain periods my chest feels very heavy and I find it hard to breath in and out normally. I think these may be side effects to the diazepam but can’t be 100%.
I must add I have continued to consume a lot of high histamine products. Eating & drinking a lot of things that won’t be doing my body any favours (not alcohol, just fatty oily high histamine foods etc) - I am doing a big shop this Friday and am going to finally begin an elimination diet.
Tonight for example I don’t know what to do because I know if I don’t have any of the diazepam I won’t be able to sleep, but at the same time I don’t want to have this heavy shortness of breath tomorrow either. It’s just hard to pinpoint exactly what’s causing it. It feels like it comes in episodes. For large parts I’ll feel normal and be able to breath normally, and then it’ll come back and be extremely hard to breath in and out and then go away again etc etc.
Just after some advice on what to do, please and wonder if anyone has had similar experiences on diazepam when they’ve had MCAS.
submitted by JustJB7 to MCAS [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:41 Rp9009 M4F love in a hopeless place

For gods sake I can’t believe I had to stay back and sort out that client I’ll be having a word to Josh on Monday he should know better. I muttered to myself as I walked in my trench coat through the light rain towards my car. It was a new model Audi and the short walk from the office was worth the secure parking.
It was a freezing night and I wouldn’t be surprised if the rain turned to snow shortly. I walked towards the overpass I had to walk under to get to my car and was always on higher alert. It was the perfect spot for junkies. Wait there’s someone sitting under it. In a black hoodie and track pants. I better cross to the other side I thought and did.
As I got closer I tried not to look making eye contact would be a mistake it could trigger the likely addict to snap. But I tried to catch a glimpse as I walked past. I stopped nearly instantly. It it wasn’t an addict. It was a lady shivering in silence sitting in a wheelchair a small backpack on her lap.
Before I knew it I was walking in her direction. I didn’t know what I would do but I knew I had to do something to help.
Hello all can’t wait to hear your ideas and story progression for this role. Please send me a chat and let’s get into it.
submitted by Rp9009 to Roleplay [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:41 Thatoneidiot9438 IMPORTANT

I'm in the drive-thru of Burger King Can I please get a Whopper Jr. with onion rings? Make it a meal so I can get a drink No, I'm not finished, that's not everything Can I please get a Double Whopper with no cheese? Can I please get a number two with a large drink? I got money so I don't care how much it costs me So just throw in some extra fries, don't make them salty All this cheese gonna make my booty drip drip I'm lactose intolerant, I don't sip milk If I see a sight of cheese, I'ma trip trip I'ma sit on your toilet seat and doodoo then dip So you got my lil' Whopper Jr.? (I didn't forget that) And you got my Doublе Whopper? (I didn't forget that) What about my onion rings? (Hold on, you can sit back) Burger King, thеy know me now Cheese, I don't want that (Grrr) And I'm getting hungry now I know you heard that Waiting for my onion rings so I don't have to turn back Burger King, don't play with me, y'all nuggets is so trash Nuggets taste like rabbit nipples, why y'all even serve that? Better stop playing and just give me all of my food Either I pay you right now or leave the drive-thru Gave me the bag and then I took a bite of my food There's cheese in my mouth (I'm gonna doodoo) I'm in the drive-thru of Burger King Man, they just gave me a Whopper Jr. with hella cheese Made it a meal, so yes, I got my drink But why they gon' put cheese on everything? They put cheese on my Double Whopper with no cheese I'll be takin' a number two in the morning Hold on, can I please be excused for a moment? The cheese already in my body, booty farting (I farted)
submitted by Thatoneidiot9438 to Dbmlore [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:41 Scared-Background247 tackling cryptids

best bigfoot evidence
apes tend to herd, no one’s seen bigfoots herding. aren't there no solitary apes?
-a child bigfoot- by itself??
are these homeless people?? / who have gone totally nuts and wild long ago- they don’t wear clothes, their haibeards have grown long, theyre dirty, they eat raw meat and plants/ things that they can get their hands on, they don’t like other people coming near them, they spend all their time hiding/scavenging, their skin is used to the weathetemperature, somewhere they have something like a nest they sleep in, or they move at night and sleep during the day for stealth but also for temperature considerations?
21:47- i-evh- indistinct mirage/plasma region in shape of figure?
24:13- could be a pig or two moving around real fast eating apples? Two pigs, one of them’s a calico. One’s in front, facing the camera, head down, eating apples. The second is just behind it and sideways, got its head turned to the side. Pigs move around real fast, blurring the camera. Yes ive seen wild pigs in person lots of times. They’re also nocturnal. They live practically everywhere. You don’t see them in person unless you’re hunting for them. They keep away from people and hide during the day. You wouldn’t believe how fast they move/run, anytime you see them. You’re used to seeing meat pigs on farms, locked up big and lazy. Wild pigs run around real fast and are leaner. They easily outrun humans, no contest, even with the human sprinting. Pig- outta there. Also they tend to move in groups.
25:49- picture so blurry cant make a determination
28:02- possible i-evh, “ghost”. Not a bigfoot photo. A ghost-hunter’s “ghost”. Indistinct cause head is featureless. or something else / person with some type of reflective head covering? if i-evh resembles nearby light a little bit. mix of human figure / nearby streetlight design.
28:48- is arguably a person facing away in a black top and bottom with hoodie. Look how in the upper left photo there appears to be a corner to the head, like the seam in a hoodie produces.
33:25- too blurry
34:59- maybe it is a fake, a human in an ape suit. Stumbles a little bit while turning to look at camera, like a human would’ve done. May have been the director’s only direction: alright come and walk across from here to here, right in the middle turn and look at the camera. The ape is otherwise walking like it’s oblivious to the person- why would it turn in the middle of that and look right at the person? Camera is centered too well on ape. A surprise capture- shouldve been off/shaky at all as person struggles to look back and forth between camera and ape, and as person cant predict what ape will do next. The steadiness of the centered shot seems like camera person knows what to expect and ape was told what to do. Or, maybe it’s a bigfoot, nervously walking away from person. if you look really closely, it does sort of look like it has breasts. if that were a movie suit, it would need to be from a movie that included a scene of lots of apes mixed gender, or a single female ape. otherwise you would expect a standard movie ape suit to be male a la king kong vibe?
35:05- look at how shaky this one is, it seems willfully shaky, as though a created fake. This shot shouldve been steadier if real. Unless theyre shaking excessively from fear?
35:25- could be i-evh plus eah. Had rained earlier- may be affecting atmoshperic static electricity.
37:30- I know there was once a military survival/special forces boot made with a sole that was in the shape of a bare foot, so that you could run through a jungle leaving footprints that looked like natives. The bare foot shape would probably be a little bigger than the person’s actual foot, because it would need to cover the whole sole, so that a tell-tale edge of a shoe would not be visible around it. May have given someone an excuse to go around making bigfoot prints? The very clear picture sort of looks like it was made with this boot because of how clear the indentation is and how it looks flat. i dont know about that side indent. the first one might match but its really too blurry.
The biggest problem with these is that apes and animals all tend to herd in the wild. It doesn’t make sense to see these by themselves over and over again, and the child is the clincher- you really wouldn’t see a child by itself, makes no sense. Where’s its mom? Why isn’t she attacking you? Why isn’t it calling out for her? possible if the group, somewhere, just stays really well hidden, and you only occasionally see strayers.
42:24- well in the lower left that doesnt look like a boot. though then he says, sasquatches do not have an arch in their foot- implying a carved boot sole in the shape of a foot- the one detail you have to leave out is an arch because there isn't enough room in the rubber to carve it. although, evolutionarily, perhaps a non-arched, padded foot could have evolved for a large bipedal ape? i dont know if it makes sense to have a non-arched foot...
46:40- "same individual, same area"- or that's the same hoaxster at work. makes a mold, uses it once. gets a reaction. uses it again a year later, gets another reaction. years later comes back at it again, with a different mold. uses it, gets a reaction. waits about a year, uses it again. gets another reaction. pulls back and waits again. to keep the believability level about right. why do they do it? because then they get to say to themselves every night, "im sasquatch".
46:50: he sure has a lot of these different footprints though.
48:13: still could be one hoaxster. go near campsites, leave big prints, using whatever prop you come up with, and sure enough campers report the big prints. it should be asked, did all of these happen to be found near campsites? an animal that shy of humans wouldn't go near a campsite just to sniff at their food.
in short, i dunno. if they're real though, you should find a group of them living somewhere, hidden in the forest, near where they're spotted. scour the forest with infrared drone or something.
submitted by Scared-Background247 to externalhallucination [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:41 ACowNamedStan An Existential crisis with Cunnilingus

tldr: unable to make girlfriend orgasm anymore and have no clue what I'm doing wrong
hello everyone. i find myself in a quandary I cant figure out. I'll start off by saying that I take responsibility for not being able to make her cum. As her partner, i take that seriously so I'm trying to exhaust every avenue to remedy it. firstly this is going to sound like I'm bloviating about my head game but its to add context to why I can't figure my way out. Iv'e always had an innate talent with eating pussy. Its one of the few things I'm confident I can do more than well. in every relationship I've been in, that's what they crave. and in every relationship, I've been able to make them orgasm. i devoured those Nina hartley videos as a teenager and just soaked up as much material. a couple of them even will still call me wanting me to do it. So, about a year ago i meet this new girl. a damn perfect sexual partner for me. can go all night. ill spare all her preferences and gifts but her favorite thing is getting head and mine is giving it. she constantly tells me no one give her head like me and shes obsessed with it. all that jazz. the first few times its magic. we're simpatico is the best way. I made her have multiple orgasms each time and then some. the sex is great. shes calling me to come over all times of the night to hook up. We vibe with each other and spend time together. we don't live together at the moment. but the relationship been moving towards something serious. shes really someone I now go out of my way to please.
but within the last couple of months for whatever reason, I've been unable to take her all the way. the build-up is still the same, she going crazy and for whatever reason, right when she get to the point of climax, I seem to do something that breaks the rhythm or loses contact at the wrong moment or something that kills her vibe. and its been causing a serious strain. and for the life of me, I don't know what I'm doing differently or wrong. Its frustrating her and she tries to explain what to do and what I'm doing wrong thru her frustration and it just compounds until we're yelling at each other. like today, we tried 3 times and every time shes peaks i cant seem to take her over. today i just stopped and said i needed to go. I was frustrated because i knew i was frustrating her. she was telling me to go but i don't think she really wanted me to. but i knew it would do little good repeating the same process and it will just lead to another fight.
ive tried to stay consistent with what i was doing that was taking her there. one of the things i thought was the issues was that she does squirm a lot, and i struggle to stay connected. but today i made a concerted effort to read and move with her body. she goes crazy when i inhale her whole vulva in my mouth and lick the hole, i try to save that for the end and that seems to get her there but something always goes wrong. she hates hearing smacking sounds as it turns her off. but isn't that a staple of the whole process? ive tried using my hands in every combination. just everything i can think of. ive never experienced this before. and its really messing with me. like i was down there today for a literal hr and a half with this start-fail process. I like her and want to please her. but its really doing a number on me. my mussels and neck were fried today. and i hate admitting defeat, but I'm at an utter loss.
ive tried to talk about what i can do differently with her outside of the bedroom, but she's dodgy with it and says she tells me whats wrong and what to do during it.
is there some other techniques i can try? have anyone else experienced this with their partner? i don't understand how everything was fine for nearly a year, and now its like ive lost my ability.
thank you in advance
submitted by ACowNamedStan to sex [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:41 throwmeaway2364563 My (30M) LDR girlfriend (27F) changed her mind about moving in with me

We’ve known each other for 5 years, at some point we were very close, basically best friends and we even had a situationship after her long term relationship. 2 years ago she moved abroad for a job and got a boyfriend there and they instantly moved in together. It took 1.5 years but the whole thing went up in flames and we started talking more and got closer together. We decided on dating and we’ve been in a long distance relationship for 5 months now and spent 3 weeks together so far. Each week was amazing, she has been constantly talking about moving back to the country and moving in with me. She’s been saying and planning this for 4 months now and her lease is up in May.
A few days back I felt that something is a little bit off about her but she refused to say anything but it made me stressed. Then on the next day there was a huge screwup at my job where I had to step up and “save the day” so I was insanely stressed. Adding these things together I closed up and was pretty rude and dry in texts because I was about to lose my mind due to my job. I told her this and she tried to calm me down but I refused.
Next day I tell her I’m still coming down from that meltdown and I’m sorry in advance if I’m a bit dry and I apologized for what I did the previous day. She said it’s all fine but I still felt that something is off. I pried and she finally caved and told me that she has been thinking about this for some days but she doesn’t want to instantly move in with me and would rather prefer that we dated first and see if we are actually compatible. To me it felt like a slap in the face and to be honest it borderline felt like a breakup as moving in has been our main discussion during the last 4 months. I told her that we know each other pretty well for 5 years now and I don’t understand where this is coming from and we also spent 3 weeks together at my place as a couple. I told her that her decision (which didn’t include me or a discussion) makes me feel like a huge step back to us and I have to think if I’m fine with it. She told me that those 3 weeks together were great but she feels like it was that way due to new relationship energy and she is afraid that we move in and realize we don’t work out and she has to move again in 2 months. She doesn’t like how much my “moodswings” affect her as she also becomes sad when I’m sad and she doesn’t know if she can deal with this long term. Keep in mind in the last few months she was like we’re soulmates and she wants to spend her life with me and we also discussed plans on eventually moving between countries.
When I pried a bit more she said she just doesn’t feel that instantly moving in is a good idea and sometimes she feels like I just need somebody and not her. Which is kindof insane as I’ve been living alone for 1.5 years now and I was also single and been to therapy and fixed a lot of my issues so I never was a relationship-addict. After our fight she said she is not sure where we are heading as a couple after this discussion and the things I’ve said and she needs to think but she probably still wants to try dating first with me even after all the things I’ve said.
We didn’t talk for a few hours and I apologized for some things I’ve said and basically she accepted it and told me that she still wants to try it with me but the way I handled this discussion just reinforced her decision and it made her think that we took many steps back and she might not act like “I anticipate her to”. We kept texting that night but it was a bit dry and absolutely absent of showing any affection and the tone was nowhere near what it was a few days back and her goodbye was just a basic “good night”.
I kind of feel like it was a soft-breakup without actually breaking up and that it will happen when she will be back. What annoys me is that it was not a discussion and making plans on how to proceed, I just got her decision and had to accept it. When I asked what is her plan regarding on dating or where she will live she just said “I don’t know I don’t have plans”. She told me she wanted to discuss the matter a few days later when I was in a better mood but since I pried she told me and here we are now. We are talking/texting but the tone is a tad bit different and not as affectionate as before. I asked her how are we and she told me she hopes we can get back to where we were before our “fight”. I understand that properly dating first is a good idea generally but she was the one bringing up and talking about moving in for 4 months and I was basically just going along with it.
What do you think? Am I being lead on? Is there really a breakup coming?
TL;DR: Together for 4 months in LDR, talks of moving in together, 1 month away from moving in she decides by herself she does not want to move in but rather wants to date first to see if we’re compatible but there was no discussion just got the final decision and had no say in it.
submitted by throwmeaway2364563 to relationships [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:40 Rp9009 M4F love in a hopeless place

For gods sake I can’t believe I had to stay back and sort out that client I’ll be having a word to Josh on Monday he should know better. I muttered to myself as I walked in my trench coat through the light rain towards my car. It was a new model Audi and the short walk from the office was worth the secure parking.
It was a freezing night and I wouldn’t be surprised if the rain turned to snow shortly. I walked towards the overpass I had to walk under to get to my car and was always on higher alert. It was the perfect spot for junkies. Wait there’s someone sitting under it. In a black hoodie and track pants. I better cross to the other side I thought and did.
As I got closer I tried not to look making eye contact would be a mistake it could trigger the likely addict to snap. But I tried to catch a glimpse as I walked past. I stopped nearly instantly. It it wasn’t an addict. It was a young lady shivering in silence sitting in a wheelchair a small backpack on her lap.
Before I knew it I was walking in her direction. I didn’t know what I would do but I knew I had to do something to help.
Hello all can’t wait to hear your ideas and story progression for this role. Please send me a chat and let’s get into it.
submitted by Rp9009 to roleplaying [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:40 julibeanss (TW) I think my dad molested me and my sister…

Hi me (female 20) and my sister (female 23) have started to realize that we believe our fathers sexually abused us. Ever since I can remember he always had a complicated relationship with us, others and especially our mother. However, we have only now began to open up about the issues within our family because of my mom potentially divorcing him. For a long time things were either thrown under the rug/ignored or normalized. So much so that we don’t know if we can believe in ourselves. We tell ourselves that we are exaggerating and nothing is really wrong. that is why I am coming here to get a second perspective. So here are the facts: * During our lives my dad has been really touchy with me and my sister. So much so that it would make us uncomfortable. I remember him often gripping/rubbing our thighs and butt. But always passed this type of behavior off as normal. Because being Latino I always thought this was just what people did. Especially living far away from the country I had no real sense of what was normal and just believed what was told to me. Although I don’t remember this being all the time I do remember moments where it was worse, where he would place his hand underneath my pants on my butt or on my stomach not entirely coming into contact with any private parts but nearing it. This would make us uncomfortable, but we would both force ourselves to stay because this was his way of showing us “affection”. This happened often but especially when he was drinking. Because he would get a bit more aggressive in the sense that when we tried to leave and show him we didn’t want it he would pull us back. This also happened often in front of other people (especially friends of his) which reinforced us to think this was normal as no one would stop it. This idea only came into our head because my mom revealed to us that he touches her uncomfortably when he’s drunk and has forced her into doing sexual acts ( I don’t know in what ways but the specific story she told he guilt tripped her) * me and my sister have very foggy memories with gaps so there could be also a lot we are missing. Especially cause this is a recent realization
More facts about my dad - my mom says he’s very horny all the time (don’t know if he has a sexual addiction). He often degraded my mom and has cheated on her. He also has weird behavior such as killing and torturing animals for fun as a kid & teenager. Often telling these stories and laughing about them We also believe he has a drinking problem. He’s decreased now but there was a time where he was drunk almost everyday. Not to the point of doing anything crazy. But drunk enough.
When he is drunk or when he is in his anger phase. He often becomes even more reckless with his words. And starts saying things that are extremely rude often directed at my mom or staff. But then he enters his sad phase which makes us feel bad for him and have hope for him that he is truly a nice person. And he claims to know he’s a “bad person” but never changes or really shows empathy or remorse for hurting people.
He also spend money really recklessly. He is often ordering things online, like packages arriving every other week. And spending a lot of money on cars (maintenance, he has 7). But at the same time he claims that we are tight on money and we shouldn’t be spending. We do have money tho, he never let anything miss in our lives. And we do have financial stability. But my sister, mom and I don’t spend money often. And when we do we often it’s for things we need.
Just wanna know if this is all in my head or if there’s any real foundation.
submitted by julibeanss to CovertIncest [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:40 ThrowraMike30 She thinks I'm a verbal abuser

My partner today told me that i am a verbal abuser. She had enough and just blurted it out at me. She looked shocked she even said it. My partner and i have been through a rocky patch the last few months. I kind of lost it with her calling her a bunch of names that she was stupid and a retard. I called her a spastic cunt. I do admit, I do have a habit of getting mad and calling her names, It happens and I just dont think. This stemmed off her getting upset cause she had something planned for me and I decided to go elsewhere with a few friends. She has been distant with me ever since. In the last few months we have probably only had sex like 4 times. She wont come near me. I have accused her of cheating and thats the reason she wont come near me. Now she gets upset if I play around with her eg; If i say to her that shes having a longer shower than normal because shes sending nudes to other guys. She gets upset and leaves the room crying eventhough I was only joking and I told her that. I tell her we need to fix things but she dont bother. She doesnt bother with me anymore, I text her telling her we need to get back on track but she just agrees and thats it. Its like theres no point in me even saying anything. She seeked help with a hotline on our relationship, Shes been crying everyday yet I still think this is partially her fault. She says yeah we can get back on track but I feel like she's just saying that so I leave her alone. I've been trying to build her back up by trying to spend time with her, Trying to cuddle her or give her a massage, But she always tenses up. I feel like shes playing around with my feelings, It's like she agrees to things but doesnt really want what she agrees too. Shes taken off her engagement ring and her necklace I got her. I have told her I blame our relationship being fucked mostly because of her distance and how she acts, Which honestly that is what I believe. If it wasnt or her distance we wouldnt be here. Ive tried to build her confidence back up, She doesnt look after herself anymore. She is literally a gorgeous person, Blonde hair, Blue eyes and she was always wanted by many, but now she has let herself go, Doesnt get dressed up or do her makeup anymore.
submitted by ThrowraMike30 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:40 melravens2 sort of interested in food?? how to help improve ??

my baby has always been curious about food when we eat in front of him, but he is a late sitter (still very wobbly and leans to one side in high chair) and we’ve tried several different flavor and textured purées since about 5 months but he isn’t showing any actual interest in eating. he doesn’t really open his mouth or lean forward to take bites, and i’ve tried like slicing pieces of avocado with a little skin for grip & seeing if he has any interest in that but he licks it once and makes a disgusted face and throws it on the floor, so i’m not sure where to go from here. i feel guilty he isn’t making more progress with purées or solids when i really wanted to be doing BLW by now and i see babies just a month or two older than him eating and loving all these various foods and my baby just doesn’t seem to care for it.
we are getting him in to physical therapy soon here for the sitting up but besides that he doesn’t have any of the other signs of being ready or interested in foods at all and i just feel like i should be doing something different to help him?
edit to add: he also just got his first 2 teeth this past 2 weeks- the bottom front two. not sure if that might have something to do with it? i’m also a FTM & nobody else in my family has done BLW or had a similar circumstance with their babies so this is all very confusing and overwhelming for me lol.
submitted by melravens2 to BabyLedWeaning [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 02:40 Iwoktheline [37M4F] Reposting this only because Reddit doesn't like people editing titles.

So, I am taking RueMint's form for myself and spilling it all out there.
I'll get the selfie out of the way first.
https://imgur.com/a/s1N2A7Y
It's a wee bit outdated because I just shaved my head and it's at the "peach fuzz" stage right now.
Basics - Age is already up above, 5'8 (although looking at the doorway height signs stores put in, they say 6'0, so I like to steal Ron White's joke and say "anywhere between 5'8 and 6'2 depending on what store I walk out of) 215lbs. I have a job, a car, a home I bought, I try to keep tidy, and I make sure the bills are paid, although they slip my mind because I am a space cadet, and I make them get back to current. I am very reticent and much more of a listener, although I have moments where the dam breaks and I am a chatterbox. I guess I would say dreamer, and I want to and am slowly working towards my dreams.
Physical looks - Now, this may be the deal breaker due to my self-esteemed being in pieces and if so, it happens. No tattoos, eventually I want to get one when I feel comfortable as a memorial piece to my dog. I have minimal body hair (definitely the opposite of Austin Powers, that's for sure). Body type is, to be real, dad bod, am getting back into the gym to lift heavy things and put them back down. I do not feel right if I do not have a daily shower, unless I know I am getting filthy, then when it is done I am sitting under a fires of Mordor hot shower until I am clean.
Imaginings - I imagine being with someone who has that open line of communication, be it a silly thought or something that invites discussion. As an old friend once said, "what you ignore is priceless to me." A relationship is work, and it has to be maintained and upkept daily, else the wheels fall off. I believe that while we help our partners, even if we have to be the bad person to be kind at times, and they have an important role in our lives, ultimately we cannot set ourselves on fire to keep the other person warm.
My defense mechanism is my reticence, be patient and let me sort my thoughts when I get upset as they become a whirlwind and I need a minute to settle the storm.
There are plenty of times I am upstairs in my head and "wandering the halls", and those times it's usually elevator Muzak or the Mii theme going on. As was said in the game Bastion, "Not always something to say."
Still reading? Awesome.
Questionnaire
Kids - None. Now, I refuse to become the draconian Childfree person that the subreddit became. I can handle being around kids, the billion dollar answer is I don't want any of my own, I know nothing about parenting and I don't want to take the crash course.
Religion - Agnostic. I believe there's things out there that we can't explain, as long as nobody is trying to force their religion down my throat, I'm okay.
Politics? Pro-choice, pro-science, support the LGBTQ community, I hate Trump, and am vaccinated.
Drink? Smoke? Drugs? Don't smoke, the worst I've been in forever was a Malort with friends, and yes, the aftertaste is absolutely horrid. I don't like the smell of weed, I don't partake in it, I don't mind if someone does, just not around me cause again, I think it stinks.
Have you ever been in therapy? Yes. I have depression and anxiety and while I fell off the wagon in terms of therapy due to financial stuff, I am getting back on.
Do you want to get married someday? Honestly, I don't know, but I am keeping it as an option. I don't care to blow an easy 5 figures to get married, I am perfect happy with a small celebration among close friends and found family, and making memories.
Can anything be funny? No. Some people try to be edgier than Bismuth and while there are dark humor jokes that can make me spit my drink, I believe 1) time and place. 2) the company 3) subject. All three are equally important when it comes to humor. I am so so SO much more of a dad joke and pun guy, or even some adult humor.
City? Country? Somewhere in the middle please. I would like to not be near major metropolitan areas, nor do I want to be out in the sticks. I've done both, and am happy with where I can hide away from the world, and if need be not have to drive 40 minutes just to get something from the store.
Is jealousy a healthy emotion? It is normal, yes. Communication is King, Queen, and Their Eminence when it comes to handling this, however, as this is also something that comes up in a relationship.
Are you looking for someone local? Kind of, I am financially bound to my house for right now, if not then we can cross that bridge if/when we come to it.
Intimacy and sex? I can’t be in a relationship where sex isn’t an important part. I have an above average sex drive, but it does not consume me. Sex, like the relationship, is give and take. Sometimes I like to take control, others I let my partner take the wheel.
Music? I am a bit eclectic (and a basic bitch) and dabble in various genre outside of hip hop (unless you count Lotus Juice?) Or heavy metal, I like to understand what I'm listening to. If anyone knows of any good didgeridoo music, let me know.
Movies? I had been on a Marvel kick, and try to be open minded on various genre. I can live just fine without horror, although I will indulge in Chainsawman, and am happy to keep it away from a partner who isn't interested. Love a good animation, Pixar has wowed me with what I have seen of their works, and I like to watch some good sci-fi.
Shows? I watched a ton of Doctor Who, and most media I consume anymore has been games, outside of reading Fandom to catch up on things I missed, and I will sit with friends to watch anime like Buddy Daddies, Chainsawman (as above), or whatever catches our collective eye.
Games? Here is the big one for me. I’ve grown up on the NES, and consider the SNES to be the golden era of gaming. Of course, there are some crappy stories (I love a good story that will hook me, like Earthbound for its whimsical nature yet dark undertones) such as Lufia 2, but it’s what I consider as media “Fast food”. What I mean by that is that is empty turn off your brain fun, yet hits the itch you can’t quite scratch. I am still a huge fan of the 2D Legend of Zelda series (I love A Link To the Past), and if the trailer is decent enough, I’m willing to give it a chance.
Art? I love digital art. There is a lot of dedication and passion that artists put into their work and I respect the eye and talent that they put into it. Pixel art can be absolutely wonderful and the artists put in a painstaking amount of work to make everything pop. Game Design is something I've wanted to do ever since I was a little kid, and Super Mario Bros blew my mind.
Books?
I used to read, read, read as a little kid. That dream of a library sounds absolutely wonderful, and so comfortable at the end of the day. I think high fantasy and RPGs have helped solidify that is what I want to do at the end of the day. Anything with dragons will pique my interest, and if there is a good story, I will probably devour it.
What are some of your non-sexual turn ons?
A good long hug, where someone holds onto me like I'm about to disappear, as well as hugs from behind. Top of head or forehead kisses. Actively listening, or inviting further discussion on a topic, even if it's something that isn't easily understood. Compassion is a huge one for me, and when I'm falling apart showing patience for me while I slowly put myself together. Understanding that sometimes I need my own space and/or I'm going to stubbornly push on to work through something, because I know if I don't keep pushing forward I'm going to stagnate and I don't want that.
Do you want your partner to have the same hobbies and interests?
Absolutely, doesn't have to be everything I'm into, as having exactly everything match up is a cashew's chance at a squirrel convention. As much as I love a good long cuddle, I don't have to have someone attached to my hip, nor do I want that. If there is something one or the other isn't interested in, then it's okay to not be interested, just don't shit all over it.
I would love to see someone everyday, wake up with them or shortly before and get breakfast prepped or we do it together, or even if there's something that needs to be done by oneself, that's okay too!
If you want to talk more, drop me a DM, and to prove you are not a bot (beep boop) list in the title what game I consider crappy, yet hits an itch you can't quite scratch.
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