Family farm and home hastings michigan

I am international 22 year old. Took time off since I graduated high school in 2020. Financial reasons and had some family health issues that needed me to stay back home.
I am looking into doing cs and was hoping my resume/portfolio as a self taught person (? Student idk) would be helpful to get a good internship at a reputable us/UK company. But I don't think that is possible as I don't have visa or work authorization. I probably could have switched from my student visa to work visa if I was in uni in usa. Also some countries would like u to have done ur bachelors from a US uni so there is that.
Companies here in my country don't pay very well plus the work culture here is not great at all among other things aka the political situation etc.
So what should I do.
Do I do a bachelors in usa/home country (pakistan) and then try going for internships/jobs. I feel like my only way out of my situation is going for higher ed and then hoping to use that to get my foot into professional environment.
I could get asylum using what is happening in my country to then get authorization to work and do an apprenticeship or internship. But that is an option I am not fully comfortable with since that means not going back to my home country and staying with my sister and being unemployed and not studying until I get the asylum situation processed (even if that happens).
I hate to waste my time and not do anything that will help me move forward. Feeling left behind in life. Doing a bachelors would mean getting out of school at age of 26 year old ..not ideal again...

I'm a Malayali (25f) but I live in Rajasthan with my family. I speak Malayalam well, but can only read a little and can't write at all. I was mostly raised outside Kerala so please forgive me if I say something offensive.
I visited Kerala a week ago for the first time in four years. The last time I visited was in 2019. Then the Covid pandemic happened, and I got busy.
During this time's visit, we visited a lot of old family friends. I'm from Kannur side, and we visited friends in Kasaragoad, Kozhikode, Thrissur etc . What I noticed was that a lot of people had dogs. In fact, EVERYONE we visited had a dog. Even my uncle and my aunt from my mother's side had a dog. It was bizarre. Everytime we visited a home, a dog was outside the house inside a tiny cage, with it's leg chained, just barking his head off.
And the thing is, all of these dogs were VICIOUS. They kept on barking and snarling at us, and at one home, I tried to pat the dog (It was an Indian Spitz, I think) the owner warned me that the dog bites and not to go near it. Huh??? Why keep it then?
I'm pretty sure no one had dogs the last time I visited. Don't get me wrong. I love dogs and want one myself, but what bothers me is that these dogs are kept chained inside cages. When I asked the owners whether they bring the dogs inside, most of them said that the dogs aren't allowed in because they dirty the house and that the hair gets everywhere. This made me really sad. Why get a dog to keep it inside a cage all day?
Most of the dogs were also so aggressive and untrained. I don't understand why this has suddenly become a trend. I just wanted to know if anyone else has noticed this? Oh, and catfishes and guppies are also in every home for some reason. How did this become a trend?

 First let me preface my question with the following. I am a confirmed but wayward Catholic who left the church over it's blatant hypocrisy and child abuse. Since then, I have attended various Methodist Churches but even those are now being split in half over LGBTQ. This is not an attack on Christianity, I'm Christian. It's just unfortunate our churches here on earth seems to keep failing spectacularly at not hurting people. This is an earthy problem, not a God problem. By now everyone knows the story of the Duggars and their downfall. One of their daughters just released a tell all documentary about growing up in their religion called Shiny Happy People. In it she discusses things like being told as a child that if she showed her knees in public, she was tempting men to have sex with her. Women who get raped or abused are evil and cant control their own sexual desires. Her husband is allowed and encouraged to hit her with a rod, and afterwards she is expected to "keep sweet" and have sex with him. Her homeschooling didn't teach her reality, and she was woefully unprepared to ever become a productive member of society outside of her own home and family. She was taught this was all normal, and telling anyone about it to include law enforcement (big government) was a sin against God. I often hear from conservatives say we need more church and less government. My question is, when the church is the abuser what is the answer then? 

Hello, I’m 21, recently diagnosed autistic and have been learning a lot about autism as a result since September. Before me, no one in my family acknowledged mental disorders and were very ableist.
Context: My young nephew was diagnosed as autistic very young, with PDA. He’s now nearly 10 but has a very troubled home life (one parent is emotionally unavailable and the other is mentally ill. They’ve also separated) He has a younger sister and she appears to be neurotypical. She, however, is becoming a physical and verbal punching bag for my nephew and it breaks my heart how used to it she is already. The family allow his behaviour because they don’t know enough about autism and don’t have the time or energy to learn more about it. The whole situation is very distressing but I don’t have a good relationship with either parent and as I’m not a parent myself they don’t value my opinion on things. I feel helpless and just do my best on the odd occasions I do see them.
The story: We were playing a game and he was being very good and kind for a while. She’s a bit slower as she’s younger and I can see it frustrates him sometimes. Eventually he punches her on the back, hard, and calls her stupid. Despite her not reacting I comfort her and tell him he can’t play anymore because of that. After some back and forth he is adamant that he is still playing, I can’t tell him otherwise and she deserves it because she’s his sister and she’s stupid. I’m doing my best to calmly, but assertively teach him morals and the importance of not being violent without any aggression on my end. I hope some of it went in but in the moment he was certainly holding his pride.
I took her inside to play and he followed us wherever we went. When I thought he was playing with his dad we snuck off upstairs to finish the game and I barricaded the door just incase he came up.
Well, he did. And this is where I don’t know if I did more harm than I did good. He kept trying the door for ages, demanding I let him in. We continued the game, completely ignoring him. In the moment, I just wanted to give her my full attention. She always gets overlooked because he is more direct in his attention seeking (I don’t mean that badly, all children need attention) so I wanted some time with her undisturbed so she knew she was worthy of undivided attention. However he was getting increasingly distressed outside and I was incredibly torn on what to do.
After what felt like 15/20 minutes his dad finally came up in which he was apparently extremely rageful and biting, head butting and punching him. He got bundled into the car to calm down but yelled at me that he hated me and I’m stupid when I came outside with his sister.
Now, please if I handled this terribly I’d really appreciate being told in a nice way. I already feel terrible because the last thing I want to do is make things worse for either of them and I want to be a safe space for him in our difficult family system. I’m only young myself and trying my best but I need to know if I made mistakes so I can do better in the future.

Hi All,
My Husband came back home last night drunk and called me over giggling. He then pulled up his sleeve and boom he had my name tattooed.
I know this may be seen as sweet but it feels a bit off, I don't like him having the tattoo. Also, he tattooed my English name and not my "ethnic" one that I go by with my family.
The worst part is that we both work at jobs requiring us to look extremely professional and formal at all times. For example, my coworkers and I will often wear heels and a blazer to work everyday and for him a suit. Nonetheless, even if the tattoo could be hidden in a jacket, it won't be when he's wearing something short sleeves which we often do at work dinners etc.
I talked about it with him and he said he's sorry for not asking me (but not for getting it) and that he thinks its okay because marriage is supposed to be permanent anyways so a tattoo is no harm. Look - I have no doubts about marrying him, but i just really don't like the idea that I have to stare at my own name all the time (especially when its not really my name).
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Last night was the first time me and him had a big fight. We've only been married since december of 2022 so I'm kind of stressed. He doesn't want to get laser.
I know there is not much I can do, but some advice on how to deal with this would be helpful (if any) and how I should react too. I will probably end up deleting this soon so he doesn't run into it.

https://www.mpts-uk.org/-/media/mpts-rod-files/dr-lucy-jane-fox-12-aug-22.pdf
TLDR - Family make a complaint to the GMC that a GP trainee did not check a patient's blood pressure and examine her legs despite it being documented and also that she did not attend a second home visit despite documenting that she did. Patient subsequently died. MTPS determined her fitness to practice was not impaired (reasoning in paragraph 63 onwards).
Can anyone think of a reason tribunal ruled favourably in this case but not Dr Pandian's case? /s
Edit- For the record I completely agree with the tribunal decision in this case and I'm sorry that this doctor had to endure this investigation but this ruling (cf. Dr Pandian's case) highlights the prejudicial treatment of ethnic minorities before the MPTS.

My ancestor came from Bruentorf, a village in Lippe, Germany. I have church records for him and his immediate family which show they lived at a numbered property there. Is there a source for records that might explain the history or agreements that are associated with that property? My ancestor and his older brother migrated to the United States in 1857 when they were young men, leaving the property in the possession of their mother and step-father who went by the farm name. I assume that whatever rights were associated with the property should have passed to the older brother who was the eldest son. Am I right about that? I’m curious about the property and wonder what kind of information might be included in any contracts or agreements.

Assalamalaikm brothers and sisters! Inshallah you are all doing well on your path to Jannah 🌳
I have recently moved out of my parents home to a different state for University. Upon relocating and living life alone and peacefully, I have strengthened my Iman amd knowledge of Islam.
During this time where I immersed myself in Deen, I slowly rejected the indoctrinated Shia worldview and beliefs in myself and began embracing Islam with a more Sunni approach.
My parents are kind of-ish aware that I am leaning towards Sunni’sm through what they hear from other friends and family in my area. This means that when they call me or see me (occasionally), they never fail to remind me that Sunni’sm is wrong. My father is always stressing the importance of marrying a religious Shia man. Myself on the other hand, cannot even imagine marrying a Shia man; given that most of them (in my community) have very weak faith and knowledge of Islam.
I know that it is not permissible for a man to marry a woman without the permission of her walee (guardian). I’m not sure how to navigate this issue..
Is there an exception or is your sister staying single in this Dunya?
Please share your insights and make Dua for me 🤍

My SO and I have been together for almost seven months now. He has an ex he broke it off with after 5 years last year. She moved out in October but didn’t fully move her stuff out of his place until last month. The only reason she moved her stuff was because I was tired of having to see it in his place and the fact that she would leave her pad wrapper in the master bathroom that I use (the room with her shit in it is at the front of the house and the bathroom is towards the back/ the guest bathroom is literally right next to the room with her shit inside) as a way to let me know she still exists. She wasn’t happy with the fact that he’s moved on with me and started stalking my page on instagram.
What he’s told me is that she would always degrade him in their relationship whenever she wasn’t happy with him trying to live his life separately from her when they were together. She has type 1 diabetes and is pretty much afraid of the world, especially after COVID. From what I gather, his ex pretty much made him her slave in the sense that he couldn’t eat without her, if he went out to hang out with friends or family she would degrade him for it and demand he came back home, etc. She even took up his time on our out of state trip (bday trip for me) blowing up his phone asking him if he would fly out to be with her in California and when he told her he couldn’t she left him voice messages and texts basically telling him that he’s a POS. He literally split from me to go call her to talk about the fact that she doesn’t qualify for some trial for a study/cure thing being done on type 1 diabetes folks while she was out there.
Basically, she’s moved out most of her stuff finally but despite how she treats him and me voicing my discomfort about them being in any sort of contact, I found out that he’s still her emergency contact and receives notifications about her glucose levels through some app. AITA for not wanting to be in the relationship because of this ?

Gran insists she doesn’t need help. She’s run the farm for fifty years; she can handle a few more. Her routines have fashioned well-worn ruts into her life. She’ll forget me before she forgets to feed the sheep.
If only that were enough. Things increasingly slip through ever-widening cracks. Another year, another door off its hinges, another piece of machinery grown faulty and rusting. Failure isn’t fatal. Not usually. It’ll take more than routine to keep both her and the farm from collapsing.
The farmhouse has become disordered and dusty where it was once meticulous. Mortar crumbling. Pipes leaking. Every room needs refurbishing.
I leaf through Gran’s photo albums. Easy smiles and fraternal hugs and recurring facial features. Page after page of unnamed faces. Strangers.
It’s not just the forgetting that’s painful. It’s the loss of what I’ll never have.
I harvest what’s left of the neglected vegetable garden while Gran does her rounds. The ones she still remembers, at least.
Withered roots slip free from the soil like surrender. Only one puts up a fair fight. Eventually, it bursts from the black earth, its twisted roots clutching the pale-smooth form of a human skull.
I stare into its empty sockets. It stares back.
I try to list them all; the deaths, the disappearances, the family who have since ceased to be my family.
And I know I’ll never know.
---
Original here.

Assalamalaikm brothers and sisters! Inshallah you are all doing well on your path to Jannah 🌳
I have recently moved out of my parents home to a different state for University. Upon relocating and living life alone and peacefully, I have strengthened my Iman amd knowledge of Islam.
During this time where I immersed myself in Deen, I slowly rejected the indoctrinated Shia worldview and beliefs in myself and began embracing Islam with a more Sunni approach.
My parents are kind of-ish aware that I am leaning towards Sunni’sm through what they hear from other friends and family in my area. This means that when they call me or see me (occasionally), they never fail to remind me that Sunni’sm is wrong. My father is always stressing the importance of marrying a religious Shia man. Myself on the other hand, cannot even imagine marrying a Shia man; given that most of them (in my community) have very weak faith and knowledge of Islam.
I know that it is not permissible for a man to marry a woman without the permission of her walee (guardian). I’m not sure how to navigate this issue..
Is there an exception or is your sister staying single in this Dunya?
Please share your insights and make Dua for me 🤍

Hey guys,
This is kind of a sad post.
I have been training for a while now -- think 8 months, with a few weeks off -- and basically nothing has changed. I eat a lot of protein, have started T two months ago, take all my workout days seriously and... nothing. If anything, my belly has grown and I've gone from 135 to 180lbs (I'm 5'3 for reference). I don't want to lose weight, I just want to get a more jacked. My current situation is far from bad though (as in I have noticeable fat on my belly/shoulders/back but also a lot of noticeable muscle on arms/legs).
I've been on lexapro for the same time I've been training, though, and everybody says fluid retention is a very big deal while on it alongside weight gain. I am currently quitting it (yay!), so I hope that's gonna stop. I've been thinking of starting a weight loss antidepressant, but I'm scared that's gonna affect my gym gains.
Thing is: it's really hard for me to stay motivated when I'm trying so hard and absolutely nothing gets better. How do you guys do it? What should I do myself? I'm getting a personal trainer and nutritionist as soon as my financial situation gets better, in around a month and a half. I just really want to get better before January, when I go back to my home country and see my family and friends for the first time in a year and a half. Would that be possible or should I just give up?
​
Thanks!

Company Name	Title	City
Capital One	Manager, Data Governance - Ontology and Data Modeling	Annapolis
Five Guys	Shift Lead - Starting at 18.00	Baltimore
Erickson Senior Living	Sr. Financial Analyst, FP&A Healthcare - Hybrid	Baltimore
Kaiser	Case Manager, Social Worker- MSW, LCSW VA	Boyds
Erickson Senior Living	Home Care Physical Therapist FT with Sign on Bonus, New Grads Welcome to Apply	Catonsville
LifeStance Health	Psychologist	Chevy Chase
Kaiser	Case Manager, Social Worker- MSW, LCSW VA	Chevy Chase
LifeStance Health	Adult Psychologist	Chevy Chase
LifeStance Health	LMFT	Columbia
LifeStance Health	Marriage and Family Therapist	Columbia
SimVentions, Inc	NAVAIR SEDSS Systems Engineer	Compton
LifeStance Health	OP Therapist	Crofton
LifeStance Health	Mental Health Counselor	Crofton
BAYADA Home Health Care	OASIS Clinical Manager	Forest Hill
BAYADA Home Health Care	Visits Nurse Manager in Forest Hill, MD	Forest Hill
BAYADA Home Health Care	Clinical Manager II	Forest Hill
Distribution Logistics LLC	DMD8 - DSTL - Waldorf, MD - Route Delivery Driver (small parcel) Amazon Partner	Fort Washington
Asplundh Tree Expert, LLC	Bucket Operator (CDL Required) - ATE	Frederick
Asplundh Tree Expert, LLC	Boom Truck Operator	Frederick
Dentistry at Hagerstown	Dental Hygienist	Hagerstown
SimVentions, Inc	NAVAIR SEDSS Systems Engineer - Excellent Healthcare Package	Hollywood
SimVentions, Inc	NAVAIR SEDSS Program Analyst - Employee Owned Company	Hollywood
SimVentions, Inc	NAVAIR SEDSS Systems Engineer - Employee Owned Company	Hollywood
L3Harris Technologies	Principal Program Manager	Hyattsville
United States Secret Service	Officer (Uniformed Division)	Hyattsville

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in md. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

The UK is home to some of the top agricultural trailer parts manufacturers, known for their high-quality components designed for farm machinery. These manufacturers specialize in producing parts that meet the rigorous demands of agricultural operations. From axles and suspensions to towing equipment and braking systems, they offer a comprehensive range of top-notch components. Farmers can rely on these manufacturers to provide them with durable and reliable trailer parts that enhance the performance and longevity of their farm machinery.

Okay so context,my (15F) dad (47M) lives with my grandparents part time to help care for them. My grandfather has always judged others for their choices in life, whether it’s small or something that means a lot to another person. This is what happened to me. I have to go round to see my dad every other weekend, which I know isn’t a lot. And my grandparents are normally there when they aren’t visiting my nans sister, which they do quite often. Me and my little sisters (14F and 11F) don’t normally enjoy going round to my dads house since we have no friends in the area, but we all agree that it is more enjoyable when my grandparents aren’t there.
For a bit of background, I want to become a teacher when I finish school and it is what I have planned to study in college. However, my grandparents don’t have the same world view as me and my siblings. My nan believes that a woman is someone who should stay home with the kids and keep her husband happy, and my grandfather believes men need a “manly” job to support his family. Me and my dads side of the family already don’t really get along ever since I came out to them as bisexual. Anyway last time I was there, we were talking about career paths that me and my sisters want to go into after school. I have already stated multiple times that I want to be a teacher around my dads side of the family and always get a look from my grandparents when I bring it up. I have always been supported by my mum, stepdad, sibling and dad but since on the weekend I’m with my dad, it is only him and my grandparents and sibling I’m with. This brings me to the point of the post, everything was going fine up until the day we had to go back to my mums house, we had just finished dinner and were talking about careers. Just like always I say that I want to go into teacher, yet instead of giving me a look, my grandfather says that it is no use going into that profession since it’s not my place to work and even if I did I wouldn’t be able to go into it because I’m not good enough. I obviously get upset and when I got home I didn’t really talk. I get that sometimes you try to achieve something and it doesn’t always go the way you want but I’ve always dreamed of being a teacher.
My mum soon found out about what they said. She told me that she is sorry but I don’t have a choice whether to go or not, which I understand because otherwise I won’t get to see my dad. Yet, I’m already in therapy and it is difficult to share my opinions and feelings with family. I’ve told my mum and dad that I don’t want to go over there unless they’re not there. It has always been like this, it’s rather they give me a look, refuse to acknowledge anything I say or turn me down on my opinions. So I wanted to ask, AITA?

I have read a number of posts here about making sure the Synology is protected from bots, etc and I think I have done most things other than reverse proxies which are beyond my copy/paste skills. Would really appreciate if anyone could let me know if what I have now is sufficient for real-world use or if I'm missing something and, in that case, can point me to a simple to follow guide.
Network: FIOS - Firewalla Purple - Eero 6 pro. The Purple has two port forwarding rules - both to the Synology. One is 32400 for Plex; other is 8089 for Channels DVR. We access both on the home/internal network via AppleTVs predominately. Plex is shared with family members as well. Channels only with one tech savvy friend and have enabled Wireguard on the Purple which he uses to access Channels.
Synology DS918+ has the Firewall enabled with rules allowing ports 32400 and 8089 from any source IP in the US. All ports are open to internal network (192.168.1.1 with range) and to my friend's home IP who accesses Channels as above.
The Firewalla has auto blocked multiple TLS Heartbleed attacks from an IP that it says is near San Jose area (147.182.225.86 ). Firewalla also warns about the Synology scanning ports on the Firewalla
That's all I can think to share.
I guess some questions I have are:

1. I believe I need to continue to port forward 8089 and 32400 so that the network knows to access Plex and Channels from the Synology - right? Should I remove the Synology's firewall rule allowing 8089 and 32400 from the US and change it to the home IPs of my 2 other family users?
2. If I'm already using Wireguard to access my Firewalla (and rest of my network) from outside the home, do I need to bother with a reverse proxy for the Synology itself?

Thanks!

We had known each other for about 3 years before our first union. I’ve always had this magnetic pull towards her but we never had a lot of time together. My mother randomly invites me to this festival I felt iffy about going to but I went anyways. As i was packing before leaving, I felt that I was about to meet someone very special.
The day we re-met (10/2022) was when I arrived at the fest. I was relaxing at my moms camp and there she was, in all her radiance. I spoke out to her, we instantly hit it off, and evidently her and my mom became friends the day prior. I felt this undeniable feeling of love for her which threw me off with how early it was. Regardless, I knew what I was feeling was as true. The conversations we shared felt so aligned. I remember her mentioning that she already started building a relationship with her future daughter and for some reason her name really stuck out to me. As we were talking with my mom, my mom invites her to stay and help out with our land in Brazil. She replies ecstatically and shared how she’s been wanting to move to South America since she was a child.
After the festival, the universe managed to align us both to attend another festival the weekend after. On the first day of the fest, we both thought it would be a good idea to host a little changa ceremony (smokable ayahuasca) to start off the weekend grounded before everyone indulges in other substances.
The whole ceremony was beautiful. She was taking care of all the little things I wasn’t thinking about and vise versa. I served her last, she didn’t finish her bowl, and I had this intuitive feeling to take a hit of it as it was still ignited. Although it was a small hit, I was blasted in along with her. I saw her in the most beautiful radiant light. She was a goddess, the divine feminine; the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She told me she saw me as a god, the divine masculine. We looked around and saw that our entire soul family was there cheering us on and elated that we were aware of our connection. I remember crying with joy as I returned, thanking the universe for that experience. Shortly after we held each other as we shared our first ‘I love you’.
Later that day as we were sitting and listening to the music, she turns to me and says “so we’re soul mates right?” and I replied with “we’re at least soul mates, no doubt about it”. I begin to see this giant energetic vortex coming down straight from the sky in between the both of us as she says “we’re twin flames”. It instantly all made sense, the unexplainable connections, synchronicities, and signs from the universe. She then hits me with “you have (daughters name’s) eyes”. I was never really interested in having kids but this made me feel happy and excited. The relationship was already so beautiful and divine, I can’t even imagine what an experience it would be to raise and teach and learn from her. I knew there would be nothing but growth, love and healing emanating from that relationship.
As time goes by I notice that she sometimes doubts that experience. I almost had to remind her or reassure her at times. I also noticed she wouldn’t always reply with “I love you” when I would say it to her. It never bothered me for a second. I honestly thought it was cute that she felt overwhelmed with the feelings. It took her quite some time to open up into that space of love and vulnerability but I don’t think she fully got to that space.
Things were progressing beautifully in my eyes. We were serving changa whenever and wherever it was needed; we were able to offer so much healing to our friends and family. My future son came to me and she deeply resonated with his name and shared that she had been seeing it everywhere for months and knew she’d meet someone important with that name. We were making all the right moves towards moving to Brazil to build a healing center and homestead there. She got further in Duolingo than I got (I grew up learning Portuguese lol), got her dog all ready for the trip with vaccines and a passport, sold her valuables. We had told all of our friends and family that we were moving for good; we just didn’t buy out tickets yet.
She sits me down to talk and shares how she wants to work on how she’s always running. She shares how she never lived in one place longer than 6 months growing up so she never had any long lasting friendships/relationships and if there was any problems, she never had to work on them. She said she needed some space to think and be alone. Four days goes by and she comes by my house after work with all my things and says that she believes it’s time for our romantic relationship to end. She says that I deserve someone who knows and that she wasn’t sure herself. I asked if she still believed that we were twin flames and she said she didn’t know if she believed that concept but that she knew we have a strong soul connection. She said she felt that our soul contract was completed and that we taught each other everything we needed to. She did say that she wanted to still be close and that I am her best friend. I didn’t resonate with any of what she said but I accepted things as they were. My whole reality was shattered. That was the last possible thing I expected to happen.
3 days after I joined a mushroom ceremony my mom was hosting. I felt very very deeply but it was needed. My son came to me to reassure me that everything was okay. He taught me to step more into my masculine and become more of the ‘lion’ im meant to be to fully support my family. My daughter came to me the days prior and has continued to come to me through dreams and meditation. I saw her face in detail the other night.
I had the opportunity to come to Brazil with my mom later that month and I took it. I’m currently in Brazil and I’m glad I took that step. I’ve been dreaming of her here. I saw her meditating right next to me around the fire with my family. I had a dream of us in a style of home that is commonly built in this area (I didn’t know until the other day). I have been noticing a lot though. I spun fire for the first time and I thought she’d be the first to support me since she introduced me and taught me a lot of what I know (she didn’t). I noticed she unfollowed me on Duolingo and had blocked me from all her story posts and mine. I notice emotions that come up that don’t feel like mine. I feel like it’s coming from her. I can literally feel her the minute she reads a text I send. I find it interesting because she normally gets over relationships much faster than this (not that it was a normal relationship).
It hurts me but at the same time I have so much compassion because I know she’s going through it. I know all of this is needed and I know she’s my twin. Nothing can shake that out of me but it feels like there’s two sides of me that are constantly conflicting each other. My ego wants an explanation and to understand but my soul knows things beyond my ego’s comprehension. All I can do now is work on myself and trust. I know I’m not being punished and I know the best is coming to me. The universe has helped me get this far and I trust it doesn’t end there. This journey is like no other.

Maybe soul mates are real, maybe not. I just know you were the only person that ever made me feel home wherever we were. I thought you loved me and we'd be together forever. I never questioned it actually. Then you ghosted me. Your best friend. It 'hurt like I've never hurt. I know how beautiful you were and that this was some kind of mistake. That's why I spent four years being your friend, while you giving me the biggest hurt I've had. I wrote you daily for four years. I loved you fully and never flinched. I didn't hold it against you until today. It's just while I was suffering worse than I ever had, alone without any real family or even my kids. Truly alone and needed my best friend more than ever, you were busy making fun of me about being gay. The reason I didn't have anyone was because you took them all yourself. You had a full blown relationship with my dad, caleb, and courtney. My entire inner circle, while you left me out to rot. You made it out like I did something wrong, but I still dont know why you ghosted me, then spent 4yrs stealing all the love in my life. You aint even said sorry once. None of you. You were family to me. I'd have been loyal to death for you 4. You tried to kill me and I got close to death. Fuck you and fuck family

Hey all 👋
Recent events let me reconsider my live choices. I'm a fairly successful at work, however I would like to start a Family now. Preferably I want to flip the patriarchal default and find a successful women that wants to keep working, while I take care of the home.
I'm 28, a bit over 180 tall, weighing in at 82kg, white and from Germany. I'm into cooking, judo, sex positivity and computer science. Open communication is most important to me in a relationship.
Willing to move, but currently in Switzerland.
- S